Family

Tomorrow morning I will wake up and I will be one day older than I am today. Sometimes I think about what have I learned from past experiences in life. What wisdom have I gained through living my life that I can speak into the lives of others. Or if I could speak to myself, when I was 20 years old, what would I say? The last few days I have been thinking about how my decisions in life are helping me achieve my wants and dreams. Because that’s what everyone wants right? To accomplish set goals, to fulfill the dreams in our hearts, and ultimately live a happy life.

Everyday I wake up I make decisions and what I consistently do and think daily impacts my life. I don’t think the average person understands how much impact their everyday decisions has on their life. It can be crazy to think that the music I listen to, what I read, the people I spend time with, the food I choose to eat, the things I look at on my cell phone… all these things have such an impact on how I see the world, my perception of my life and if I have a positive or negative outlook on life, and even how I feel.

Since no one knows the future, nor can anyone predict the struggles that people go through, I feel ultimately we all just have to do the best with what we have. I look back on how people lived during the civil rights era. So many African-Americans were struggling just to make it. And, many of them did it… without education, finances, and without many of the things that I take for granted.

I would assume that most people around my age grew up watching the Cosby Show. The Cosby Show set a standard for how many people wanted to live in the 90s. At that time all most people wanted was a college degree, a good job, and a family. Then in the 2000s (my 20s), it was like if you didn’t have a Masters degree, you weren’t qualified to receive a decent job. And, having a job and a career, and living a certain type of lifestyle became more important. I know in my 20s, I was more focused on getting my degree, establishing a career and making money way more than I focused on establishing a committed relationship and starting a family.

Also, during that time in my life I saw so many of my friends having children outside of marriage, get married and then get divorced after a few years. I believe this caused me and many of my friends to fear divorce… and indirectly fear marriage, which also created unrealistic standards for relationships. Because, I know I did not want to marry the wrong woman and have to go through all the issues that I saw my friends going through.

Eventually I had to realize what I truly wanted. And, that I would have to make sacrifices and changes in my life in order to get it. I’m in my late 30s, and what I want is a family of my own. It’s not hard for me to say it. I’m tired of being single. So, my decisions need to reflect my desires.

One of my good friends is pregnant and I’m sooo happy for her! I believe if you want something, you need to go out and get it. It’s time to make it happen. I just pray God gives me wisdom in making the right decisions.