Searching for Love…

Why do we search for love? Is it something that’s already embedded inside us that causes us to long for companionship and love? I think so. It’s a natural feeling. When you feel all alone in the midst of a group of people, when the stresses of life befall upon you and you need encouragement, when you experience something special and you long to share with someone, when you want someone to hold you close, touch you showing affection… everyone experiences at least one of these moments daily. It can be easier managing these feelings for those who are married or dating, but for many single adults like myself, it can be difficult to manage these feelings.

Why does it seem to be so hard to find love? I’ll never forget reading this quote, “… it’s not that dating is now so hard, it’s more so that people have become more difficult to please.” I have been reading a blog lately that points out the pitfalls of using Tinder and online dating. After reading one of the posts, it hit me in my spirit that online dating and social media is like “socially-accepted porn”. I just coined the phrase and defined it in my mind while commenting on the blog post.

It’s not that I feel online dating or using social media is soooo bad. It’s an excellent means for promoting any event or business pursuit. And a great way for connecting with friends and family. Hey, I’m on Instagram and Facebook all the time, and though I currently don’t use dating apps, I have used them. Nevertheless, there are probably millions of fake online profiles, virtual relationships with people you don’t know aren’t real… even in social media there are many fake profiles which are adorned with images of half-naked women created for the sole purpose of attracting men. This “fakeness”… helps to cause people to have unrealistic expectations of themselves as well as others in relationships.

So, where are you looking for love? One of my friends pointed out that you probably will never meet the right person for you on a Friday night or the weekend, you’ll meet them during the week. Meaning, you’re not likely to find real love with someone you met at a club or a lounge; you’re more likely to find real love through a connection with someone close to you or meeting them in your day-to-day life.

Right now in my life, I am tired. Even if the perfect woman walked into my life, I don’t know if I am ready for her. There are times when I definitely need and desire female attention. But, I’m not at a point (right now) where I can be the man I know my future wife needs me to be.

I love watching love movies. It makes my heart jump to see a good romance drama. They are basically all the same. It always starts with the initial attraction, then one doesn’t like the other for some reason, then the universe aligns so that they have to be together, then I suppose it can change based on the story line. But, it’s the ending that I love the most… when they eventually find what they have been searching for all along… love.


svg4 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...


  • logoffforlove

    October 18, 2016 at 10:32 pm

    This blog post definitely resonates with most people – the quest for love seems to be never ending. I believe that when we truly find and love ourselves is when we are ready to love others! After all, how can we love someone whole, when we can’t give ourselves that same love?

    • jason

      October 18, 2016 at 10:47 pm

      That’s so true.

  • MysticalMillenial

    October 25, 2016 at 4:02 pm

    Great, thoughtful post, Jason. I agree, many people expect their lover to appear at the bar or at the club (I’ve met a couple people who this has worked for, haha, but not me).

    To me, it’s a combination of divine timing and being personally ready. Thanks for being vulnerable on your post. Blessings

    • jason

      October 25, 2016 at 4:08 pm

      Thanks! A good friend of mine told me, “you’re probably not going to meet your wife on a weekend, but more likely to meet her during the week.”


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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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