Lately I found myself not wanting to talk about much. I usually have a lot to say because usually my mind is filled with ideas, the colors of life, song ideas, opinions, etc. My thoughts filled with things I’m planning to do, things I’m doing, or mindless aspirations that take my attention as I daydream about something more fascinating than the current existence which I currently live in. Now that I think about it… I haven’t been dreaming as of late. Hmmm, oh well.
Being the person who I am… who reflects upon everything. I find myself adding and subtracting all the factors, in search for reasons why I am in the state of mind I now find myself. Have I been stressing myself out? I don’t think so. Have I been taking my vitamins and eating healthy? Yes. Have I been being lazy about life. No, I have been working pretty hard on my assignments in my graduate classes, taking part-time jobs here and there, and even applying to jobs. So what is it? Or, better yet what could it be? I honestly think it’s a combination of two things.
- Lack of Intimacy
- I Haven’t Been Actively Investing in My Happiness.
Since I broke up with my ex, I haven’t been intimate with anyone. I haven’t been getting hugs & kisses or showing and receiving physical affection. One of my love languages is physical touch. And, not that I need someone to sleep with to give me energy, but I feel people aren’t meant to be alone. Having a friend to hug, spend time with, joke around with, and just talk to can give you energy. And, phone conversations/texting just don’t do it for me. I want a real relationship. I want to give/receive love. I have enough social media friends.
Being creative, spending time with my friends & family, and being active makes me happy. I definitely need to begin investing more in my happiness. For example, set time out to go jogging or play basketball, make time to visit friends, or get out of my daily routine and do things I’ve never done before.
One thing I know about life, you can’t allow life’s problems to overwhelm you or depress you. I need to find my smile and my joy… simply for survival! I hope all who read this are enjoying their day! I will challenge you, and myself as well, to do something everyday that will invest in your happiness. Not that I think life should be perfect, but I do feel a life without joy isn’t worth living. So, even if the sun isn’t shining outside, I want the light inside my heart to be shining. You are responsible for your joy.