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The maturer you become, the more able you are to acknowledge your flaws, or better yet imperfections, while also finding a way to embrace them knowing that they are a part of who you are. In life, who you are… meaning your character, your beliefs, your values, your expectations, the way you look, your personality, your likes and dislikes, your life experience, how you identify yourself, where you live, where and how you were raised… all these things will ultimately factor in to better explain who you are. And, who I am is one of the main reasons why I’m still single.

I honestly could write a book about me (which I probably will do at some point), but I’m still growing, living life, and learning about myself. Who I am right now is not the finished completed version of me. Throughout my life, I have been attracted to all sorts of women. For a long time, I only paid attention to women who I considered sexually attractive, Christian, smart, and who smiled at me. I believe I overlooked many women who I could’ve developed relationships with, with some effort. There were missed opportunities simply because I didn’t recognize the value of a good woman. I could only see the woman who was in front of me at that specific moment, and I was ignorant of her true worth and incapable of seeing who she could potentially become.

Another big reason why I’m still single is because of my lack of confidence. Now, I will explain this in depth. I’ve always been courageous and charismatic, to where I would walk up and speak to any woman. But, even though I knew that I was tall, dark, and handsome, creative, intelligent, and I know that many women probably would be attracted to someone “like” me… but, I honestly didn’t feel in my heart that they wanted to be with me. At my core, I probably identify more with the guy who is always stuck in the friend zone with women, than the guy who gets all the girls. Plus, I never really pursued women until recently. I didn’t even go out to social parties, bars, and events until my 30’s. I also doubt myself at times, due to my inexperience in dating, social awkwardness of being too spiritual at times and ignorance in truly knowing what women want.

I guess I could list a ton of reasons of why I’m still single. Hey, I grew up on a farm. I didn’t have a lot of friends to help me develop social skills early in life. I went to a private school. I spent most of my free time in church. I didn’t go out in college (I actually hated college). I probably don’t have a lot in common with most women I’m attracted to. I’m not rich. I don’t have any kids. I’ve made some good and bad decisions. I’m not perfect.

A wise person understands that their past doesn’t determine their future. I wake up every day with some type of hope for a better tomorrow, faith that God will bless me and give me favor in my pursuits. As I lie in my bed right now, thinking on how I can be a better man, the type of woman I should pursue, and looking back on my past mistakes… I realize that I can’t change my past. I’m still single, and that’s life. Nevertheless, I’m working on myself so when I get another opportunity to meet someone special… a woman who knows what love is, who thinks I’m special, and who really wants to build a family with me… I definitely won’t take her for granted.

svg5 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...

8 Comments

  • academichustler1975

    October 25, 2016 at 5:22 am

    Thank you for your honesty! It’s greatly appreciated. I wish you much success in having what you need and want in life and love.

    Reply
    • jason

      October 25, 2016 at 9:26 am

      I appreciate this. Thank you.

      Reply
  • Maya Moore

    November 1, 2016 at 12:31 am

    Friend i have always thought that you are too hard on yourself. We are both critical thinkers so I think this is common but this➡➡ “I wake up every day with some type of hope for a better tomorrow, faith that God will bless me and give me favor in my pursuits. As I lie in my bed right now, thinking on how I can be a better man….” to me is exactly why I think you’re a good man. You’re always evaluating and assessing ways to better yourself and your life. A VERY valuable characteristic in a future husband. 😉

    Reply
    • jason

      November 4, 2016 at 12:08 am

      Thanks Maya

      Reply
  • Erica Smith

    December 2, 2016 at 8:44 pm

    The Lord truly has someone special for you Jason, and I hope he delivers her quickly!!

    You are an absolute gentleman, a rare find indeed! I hope one day to read about that special lady you’ve found!

    Again, please continue to journal, as the content of your entries inspire,entertain, educate, and I just can’t get enough of them!! 🙂

    Thank You so much again

    Sincerely,
    Erica S.

    Reply
    • jason

      December 2, 2016 at 9:01 pm

      Thanks Erica! Really love your comments

      Reply
  • Erica M. Smith

    December 4, 2016 at 12:03 pm

    And I love your journaling Jason!
    Your words speak to my heart~

    Sincerely,

    Erica S.

    Reply

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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP
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