Before I start writing, I just wanted to share this to all the consistent readers of my blog… the last few weeks I purposely took a hiatus from writing. Though there were thoughts and feelings on my mind that I wanted to share, I didn’t feel free enough to do so, so I just kept my heart closed for a while. But, now I feel as if my spirit is free to expose some, or a portion, of the things on my heart. It takes a lot to be transparent and share your life with others. Though I don’t disclose all the deepest secrets of my life on my website, I do get drained at times as I open up a door into my life for all who desire to come in. But, I love writing 🙂 and I love sharing my heart, so it’s all worth it.
Today, was a good day. Even though I didn’t go to church today, I spent time with my family and I really felt joy in my spirit. There are sooo many days that I may feel stressed out about life or work, that I treasure the days where I feel joyful or at peace.
The last few days I’ve been really thinking about my future wife, my future children, and my future life. Looking in the mirror can be so weird to me lately, as I see my body aging with the bags under my eyes, the wrinkles in my skin getting bigger, the grey hairs on my face… You know, I’m cool with aging. I love my body. But, I’m going to be 38 years old this year. And one of my main goals is to find the right lady and make a decision to get married, and begin working on starting a family. This week I received a few nuggets of wisdom from people with different perspectives on life, after speaking with some of my friends and family this past week on marriage/relationships.
- One of the most important things when entering into any relationship is Trust, Truth (Honesty), and Transparency – This will set a strong foundation for a relationship to build upon. No relationship is perfect, but I’ve seen these 3 things in every good relationship I’ve seen.
- Never rush into love – Some people like to take things slow, while others like it fast. The more time you spend getting to know someone, the more they become a part of your life, and harder to dismiss, especially when the storms of life arise.
- You’ll never find a perfect person – Stop questioning everything and make a decision. I think this maybe one of my biggest problems. Sometimes I over-analyze people with the intention to use wisdom in dating.
It is now 3 months into 2017. One thing I’ve put into practice in my life is becoming more purposeful about how I utilize my time, and being more mature in my decisions on what I do and who I do it with. Life is short, and I don’t have time to waste on people who don’t value my time. Even though God may bless me with another 50 years of life, I understand now more than ever what the Bible was saying in the scripture.. James 4:14 (ESV) “yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”
You know what the crazy thing is….I am 41 and I thought that once my daughter grows and leave the nest that I would find my mate in this next chapter and enjoy building, traveling, and saving for our retirement. So, I get the hunger. But I know that my happiness is not wrapped around a man and I won’t settle. I would happily be by myself and continue to love life and my friends and her until someone respects me enough to learn and build with me. It’s a struggle as I see many of my friends go through the same thing I do in the dating world, but loving myself and knowing me as I grow allows me to be OK, instead of settling. It’s a journey and the women in your age group have journeys to go through as well and hopefully one of them will heal or embrace love and find you.
Thanks for sharing your heart and encouraging words. The thing is for me too is that even though I desire a relationship, I’ve gotten so used to being alone.