Learning How to Love

There is no 30-minute YouTube video that can teach you how to love. Now, I have read the Bible front to back. I have also read other great books like The Seven Levels of Intimacy by Matthew Kelly, Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer, The Law of Attraction, The 5 Love Languages, and even textbooks on the psychology of love. In all of my study and life experiences I have determined that people understand love (cognitively) and feel love in various ways… but, more than anything else people define love on how others show it towards them.

Everyone is capable of giving love. Even the most hateful, argumentative, racist, negative, and cruel people will show love to some people. But… not everyone knows how to receive love, or may not can see the benefits of being in a relationship with someone who loves you for you. It’s like sex. I feel sex is the epitome of love. It’s the closest you can get to any person, it’s spiritual, it’s orgasmic… anyway. Everyone knows how to have sex, but not everyone knows how to make love. And, your enjoyment of it depends highly on who you’re with.

It’s like everyone wants to taste the sweetness of a ripe piece of fruit. But, not all people want to plant the seeds, till the soil, water the plants, and wait until the seed yields fruit. The fruit is love and the seed is love. Some people are just lucky, and they may grow up with great parents, great grandparents, great friends who love them, and have a great life. But, for many of us, at one time or another we have had to create relationships if we wanted to taste the fruit of love.

So, how does someone learn how to love, or receive love. Love is similar to the process of growing fruit.

1. First you need to know what type of fruit you want to grow – Everyone feels love differently. My love language is PT (Physical Touch) and QT (Quality Time), so I want to invest my love in someone who can show me that type of love.
2. Plant your seeds – Start showing the type of love you want to receive.
3. Choose your soil wisely – Some people can’t show you love. People can only give you what they already have. Not all people have the ability to show you love. Once you start sowing seeds and they don’t produce, move on to a different soil. So choose your friends wisely.
4. Water the plant – Every meaningful relationship will require you to sacrifice your time and energy.
5. Appreciate the fruit that has grown – The only perfect love comes from God. Don’t expect people to be perfect, because you’re not perfect. Be thankful, appreciative, and show respect to those who choose to show you love.