The topic of relationships and finding a special woman is constantly on my mind being an eligible bachelor in my mid 30’s. After talking to one of my friends this afternoon about the type of women I’m interested in, she told me to read a blog called The Rebirth of Courtship: 4 Things Men Should Know About It. So like the good guy I am, I did 🙂 . Plus I love reading women’s perspectives on relationships.
In the aforementioned blog, the writer was basically saying that men should treat and respect women more by taking them out on dates, and value the rules of courtship. Now, I’m all about respecting women. No woman who I’ve ever been with could ever say that I didn’t treat them with respect and courtesy.
Ok… I want to first say this, in response to the blog. Being a gentleman to a woman only matters to women who value gentlemen.
Every woman wants something different. I promise this is true. Courting is cool, I agree with courting… buying flowers and candy, taking a woman on a date, and all of that. I actually love the romance of it all. But, dating today is totally different than it was just a few years ago, in the 90’s when I was a teenager.
Finding someone who I’m compatible with is hard! And if people were more honest, I feel most people (men and women) may know what they want, but don’t know what type of person they need. Because they haven’t seen too many successful relationships to really know how to create one.
So why do women want to be courted? Is it because they want to go to the movies and out to eat? Or is it because they want to spend quality time with a man they’re interested in. Every woman has her reasons I suppose.
I know one reason courting isn’t like it used to, just communicating has become an issue. I remember going on a date with a girl, I picked her up from her house and took her to a nice restaurant. Once we got there she texted on her phone more than she spoke to me. Not many women are willing to sacrifice the time/energy it takes to be courted, or create a new relationship. As most single women I’m attracted to in my age range (because I can’t date these young girls) are already in a relationship, or have so many commitments (kids, family, job) that it can be so difficult to connect with them. And, more people are dating without purpose, just so they can be with someone.
So what type of woman am I looking for? Honestly this isn’t an easy question to answer. I could give a socially correct answer like… I’m looking for an attractive woman who shares my same values that loves God. And, that would be true, but it still wouldn’t be totally 100% true. Because I would date & marry a woman with kids, who doesn’t look like a model, who isn’t on my same level spiritually, who doesn’t have the best family, etc. I know that any woman who I meet will have baggage and issues. I know I have mine.
The man who I am today isn’t attracted to the same women I was attracted to in my 20’s. I have evolved. I believe the wants of women have evolved, as well a man’s role in the life of a professional woman. Today there are more independent professional single women who don’t need a man financially or socially. Even though they still need a man to satisfy their physical desires.
At this point in my life, dating without the intention of marrying is simply put, “hanging out”. And, I already have a lot of friends to hang out with. I need… well, let’s say it like this, I want to treat a woman like she’s the most special thing in the world, and I’m only going to commit to a woman who wants to treat me the same way.