I’m definitely still learning about life every single day. Though I generally know what I want out of life, as I make out my plans every week and update my calendar with tasks, goals, and things I want to achieve, I still struggle with understanding what it all means. From trying to fulfill my desires when it comes to finding the right woman, trying to follow my heart when it comes to making decisions about my career, and just trying to live life with wisdom… sometimes I feel that nothing I do makes sense, other times I can make sense of it all. I suppose I’m still learning what it means to be 35 and single.

Honestly right now, I feel the single life is cool for me. It is not that I’m not actively looking for my special lady, I just know that even if I found her, right now I don’t have the time and energy for a serious relationship. Or maybe I could say that better, because any relationship can work if both people want to make it happen. Let me say it like this, I don’t think I can find a woman who can meet my expectations and I can meet hers. Love is not hard for me, it’s just that people are difficult… especially when they are not good at communicating their feelings or don’t understand sacrifice.

What am I working for? Who am I living for? These are questions I ask myself sometimes. I definitely need to be more confident in who I am. I need to have more faith, courage, and contentment about the choices I make when it comes to what I do for a living; and learn to be proud of who I am. I still struggle with the feeling that I’m not a man who has a career job with a large bank account. Because in my mind that’s who I want to be, but reality tells me that I’m not that man right now. I’m working to pursue happiness. I try to make the best choices for me. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m working to get there.

One great thing about being single is that my decisions only affect me. So, I can basically do what I want to do, using wisdom of course. Another thing I’ve learned is that I realize why men my age and older don’t want to get married, or are content with being single. And this is probably the feelings of both men and women… I feel that it’s easier to live alone with only yourself to please, than to live with someone else who can’t be pleased.

I just hope that I find someone who is looking for someone like me, as I want a family and all that comes with it.

svg3 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...


  • Lili

    June 14, 2015 at 10:32 pm

    Good Luck! I’m sure you will find your match =) Just keep on living happily. People are attracted to happy people =)

    • jason

      June 15, 2015 at 7:04 pm

      You’re right, thanks for being positive 🙂

  • Ngobesing Romanus

    June 14, 2015 at 10:50 pm

    Hello Jason! Happy to be here. At 35, you better take a decision and get on board the marriage train, my friend. Time waits for no one; and its already running out for you. If you got married today, at fifty your first child might hardly be fifteen. Let me assure you, there is no perfect woman. Looking for perfection for too long may land you where you will regret all your life. I once wrote a post on this. If you happen to visit my blog, (and you are invited), search for marriage. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and life.

    • jason

      June 15, 2015 at 7:07 pm

      Hey I totally feel you! But, I don’t want to be 50 with a 15 year old and divorced either. I’m working on it.

      • Ngobesing Romanus

        June 16, 2015 at 6:15 pm

        Very great you are on it. If I may advice, the time you spend searching, spend it learning to live with the one you settle on, because even if you got an angel, you would still need tools to make it work. No marriage, I have found, succeeds on its own because the two persons were a perfect pair. A lot of work has to be done on it. Of course, some people are better than others; but everyone has their faults; and one can never be too sure. For those who believe in God they let God give them signs about the one they should settle for; and he usually does. Thanks for letting me share on this. Good luck..

  • Tikeetha T

    June 15, 2015 at 6:41 am

    As someone whose been married and divorced my advice would be to understand that compatibility plays a huge part in finding someone you want to walk this life with. You want someone who shares your same values about marriage, money, family, etc. Don’t rush marriage and children with the wrong person because trust me when I say it is hard that my son has two different homes with two different rooms. It wasn’t the ideal, but I’m thankful for him. However, let’s not forget that many men lose custody of their children in battling with the wrong woman. Be patient my friend. God knows and hears. Plus, you’re my summer project remember?

    • jason

      June 15, 2015 at 7:09 pm

      Lol! I remember.


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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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