Sitting here at a café; I sit and ponder upon life, specifically my life. I gaze outside of the window and see people walking along the sidewalk, cars driving, and various productions studios where various TV programs are filmed, like Sunset and Gower Studios and Nickelodeon studios. But, all I can think is that, “I’m still here after 10 months.”
Growing up on a 200 acre farm in the village of Wilson, my normal experiences in life as a child compared to my life now, are so different. I rarely meet anyone who can relate to that part of me in the slightest bit. Then I meet so many people whose real life stories are so moving, interesting, unique, powerful, and so different than what I expected their lives to be. And I find that I can barely relate to them, and their experiences. Since I’ve been here, I’ve grown so much. I believe one of the reasons I’m even here is to experience life, shine light into the lives of others, to form meaningful relationships and gain more wisdom.
I’ve been living here in Hollywood for the past 10 months. And, if I were truly honest, I would have to say that regardless of all the ups and downs since I’ve been here, I’m happy that I’m here. However, there are still times where I feel the loneliness of being away from my family and childhood friends, or experience the feelings that cause me to think that my life would be better if I left and sought after opportunities elsewhere. I think that’s a natural feeling. Nevertheless, I want to find success. Because believe me I didn’t drive halfway around the country just to take pictures, meet people, smile, and carouse with women.
Yet regardless of what originally attracted me to move here, I know I cannot leave until I find what I’m looking for. And I’ll know what that is when I find it.