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My Depressing Dating Life

My dating life sucks right now. It seems as if every woman who I find attractive either lives thousands of miles away, is in a committed relationship, or she is simply not interested in me. It’s even hard to find someone to flirt with! And, the sad part about it all is that I don’t know what to do about it.

This blog may be a little more transparent than most, as I have been feeling so unhappy lately. And, I have no one to call to express my heart to about this, as most of my friends are either busy living their life or aren’t in a good space to offer me any sincere empathy or good wisdom.

Today I was so depressed about my dating life that I downloaded Tinder (a dating app on my smartphone) and created an account. And, I even matched with someone, but after I messaged her she never replied. As I swiped left time after time I became depressed, as I saw pictures and read the short bios of single people on Tinder. So, I deleted my account, as I thought to myself… “I don’t want to talk to any of these women.”

I’ve even reached out to various women over the last few weeks, asking them on dates, texting them to see how they’re doing, just trying to get to know them or spend time with them… and in those attempts, I was either ignored or rejected. Sometimes I feel like single women would rather be alone than to spend time with me. I’m at the point where today I searched the internet for marriage/relationship conferences around the country and considered registering for one of them.

I’m so tired of hearing about how hard it is for single women to find a good man. I’m tired of hearing stories about guys messing over women. It’s like, look over here (waving my hands)! Give me a chance, I’ve never messed around on anyone. I’ve always been honest. I don’t have kids. I’m intelligent. I’m not ugly 🙂 . I eat healthy. I’m a man of my word. I’m a good communicator and a good listener. I have a great job. I have great friends. I’ve never had a STD (which is a huge plus). I’m funny… etc. So, why can’t I find a good woman? What’s wrong with giving me a chance?! Sometimes I wonder if God has even forgotten about my desire for a family?

If my relationship status doesn’t change soon, I may look to move from Louisiana. I feel like most single women I’m attracted to here are either divorced, have children, or aren’t looking for a relationship. And, most of those who are divorced or have kids, are still in an on & off relationship with their ex’s. I feel like women here don’t value guys like me, and I need to move, get a fresh start, find my happiness and get my confidence back.

One of my good friends recently told me that he felt like he was never going to get married, and that he doesn’t think he would ever meet a woman who he would want to have any kids with. Well, I’m not like him… at least not yet. I haven’t lost hope that I will eventually marry someone I love and start a family.

svg4 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...

39 Comments

  • sex line stories

    May 21, 2017 at 6:12 am

    A change of scenery might not be a bad thing

    Reply
  • Romelle J.

    May 22, 2017 at 11:14 am

    I understand where you’re coming from; as I’ve been feeling the same way. I have been thinking heavily about relocating for the same reasons: Change of scenery, the chance to meet new people, and hopefully find the man I’ve been waiting for. Unfortunately for me, my plans to relocate will have to wait until my 13 year old finishes high school. But while I am here, I will continue to work on myself and do what I have to do to be sure that I’m the woman I need to be. I encourage you to do the same. Continue to allow God to mold you into the man you need to be for the right woman. Thank you for sharing. Keep your head up. 🙂

    Reply
    • jason

      May 22, 2017 at 11:50 am

      Thanks! I just need a change… maybe since I’m so used to adapting, I forget my need to be creative.
      Plus if I do relocate… I want it to be for the RIGHT reasons. You know?

      Reply
      • Romelle J.

        May 22, 2017 at 1:15 pm

        I definitely understand.

  • academichustler1975

    May 22, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    We are going to get you hitched. Lets get together so I can put together a profile and have eligible women meet you from my girl groups.

    Reply
    • jason

      May 22, 2017 at 4:24 pm

      Lol! I know you’re not serious

      Reply
  • Just Jo

    May 22, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    The dating game is a war zone…..but it’s so fun!

    Reply
    • jason

      May 22, 2017 at 11:02 pm

      Well, I suppose anything can be fun, it all depends on who you’re doing it with

      Reply
  • completeinchristministries

    May 23, 2017 at 8:59 am

    Hi Jason,
    I was going to message you, but thought since you were being so transparent that I should post here in case someone else can benefit. You are under what I call “Holy Ghost arrest” :). Yes, I have been there before, so I know the signs. If you think I might be on the right track, keep reading :). The only thing that will get you out is to find out from the Holy Spirit what it is that He wants from you. You probably have an idea what it is, but maybe you don’t want to deal with it or maybe you think He can’t be talking to you :). Trust me, He is talking to you and if He has a specific task or walk for you, just ask Him. I recommend total surrender, then all of a sudden you will look to your side and the woman who can walk it out with you will be there. She will be clearly the one for you. If you don’t do it this way, you may end of with someone who is not best for you, but she will hinder your ministry (whatever it is) instead of enhance it. The only problem is then, you will still have to surrender to the call or whatever you want to call it, it may or may not be “5-fold”, but it is something specific, but it is more difficult to do when you are married to a person who does not understand it. Hope you hear my heart, cause you know I love you, just a gray-haired young at heart preacher who don’t want to see you go through no unnecessary decades of avoidable stuff. Be encouraged and put Eph 5:14 on it. Also, I would love to have you join my group of intercessors, so message me on that I will get you connected. We pray on live conf call and individually. TheresaT.

    Reply
  • Tia

    May 23, 2017 at 11:24 am

    Reblogged this on 365 Days of Brutality.

    Reply
  • Tia

    May 23, 2017 at 11:33 am

    Dating in general is hard for us all, I honestly believe there are a lot of hurt people wondering around unsure of who they are or what they want. It’s not something I plan to give up on though. Keep going, she’s out there and probably feeling the same way you do.

    Reply
    • jason

      May 23, 2017 at 11:44 am

      ☺ thanks! Yeah… I hope she’s a lot happier than me

      Reply
      • Tia

        May 23, 2017 at 11:48 am

        😂 you’ll be fine love, I promise.

    • Maya Moore

      May 30, 2017 at 11:45 pm

      I so agree Tia! Hurt ppl hurt ppl and the cycle continues sadly.

      Reply
  • Maya Moore

    May 30, 2017 at 11:41 pm

    Jason call me!
    Love you!

    Reply
    • jason

      May 31, 2017 at 7:23 am

      Love you too! Will do

      Reply
  • Dee's Dating Diary

    June 17, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    Never give up hope Jason, you will find a great woman one day!

    Reply
    • jason

      June 17, 2017 at 6:40 pm

      Thanks so much Dee! I agree. I just hope I can be the man she needs me to be.

      Reply
  • yearofvulnerability

    June 20, 2017 at 5:08 am

    Wow Jason. Thanks for such an inspiring read from the male’s point of view. I recently wrote a similar post – you can check it out here https://yearofvulnerability.wordpress.com/2017/06/08/the-dating-rollercoaster/ – mine coming from the female perspective. I guess some of us have to put in harder work than others. I moved cities and still no takers. Haha!

    I hope you find your lady. You seem like a really genuine guy. I’ll check out the rest of your blog.

    Emma.

    Reply
    • jason

      June 20, 2017 at 11:21 pm

      Thanks Emma ☺
      Read some of your blog… will read the rest later. Some people have easy time getting married or dating. Not me. Its not that I can’t find women to go out with, its that right now I don’t like most of what I see.
      I’ve found that the pursuit of love and happiness is a journey that can break you and totally change you. And I know in my journey I’ve redefined beauty.

      Reply
    • Maya Moore

      June 25, 2017 at 12:46 pm

      Why do you think some people have to put in more work than others when dating?

      Reply
      • yearofvulnerability

        June 25, 2017 at 3:06 pm

        Hi Maya. I’m still trying to figure that out. Haha.

      • Maya Moore

        June 25, 2017 at 3:14 pm

        Me too 😳

      • jason

        June 25, 2017 at 6:48 pm

        I feel it a few reasons why. But I was pertaining to this reason, because in my opinion, when the type of people you’re attracted to and compatible with doesn’t match up well with the majority of single people in your surroundings, then it’s going to be more difficult to find dates.
        It’s harder to find an available “Claire Huxtable” when living in Louisiana than it would be living in DC.

  • 40shadesofpinkblog

    July 2, 2017 at 6:36 am

    Hey Jason, Don’t lose hope! You’re going to find that one in a million girl.

    Reply
    • jason

      July 2, 2017 at 10:06 am

      Thanks 🙄 I’m trying to keep hope alive!

      Reply
  • Miss Felistas

    July 4, 2017 at 3:27 am

    Hey Hun, all is well. I’ve always thought it better to be alone and happy than attached and on inconsistent levels of contentment and happiness. You’re also alone in this, so many of us struggle to find the right person to start a life with etc but the key isn’t to lose hope. God knows the right time to bless us and some day, hopefully soon, it will happen!

    Love, T

    Reply
  • Miss Felistas

    July 4, 2017 at 3:28 am

    You’re NOT alone***

    Couldn’t find the edit button

    Reply
  • mycuntycuntyjournal

    July 12, 2017 at 11:58 am

    I think its hard for everyone looking for something on the meaningful side . I swipe left all the time I think I gave myself carpal tunnel. Seriously. Its just so weird (Tinder and dating sites) because we are supposed to see a static 2 dimensional pic and decide. I know guys who look like shit in pics but when they are right their with their personalities shining and they ARE attractive its a whole other thing. Same with someone who looks amazing in a pic but when you meet them and they open their mouths its all over. oh well what to do.

    Reply
  • luvisconfusing

    July 28, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    You speak facts man

    Reply
  • Savannah

    August 25, 2017 at 3:49 pm

    It is hard for women though. Men are more visual, so being an ugly girl makes dating impossible. Dating generally is awful anyway. I’m done with it.

    Reply
  • jason

    August 25, 2017 at 11:04 pm

    Yes, you’re right. Dating is tough and men are more visual. But, I feel everyone is beautiful in their own way. I tell young women all the time, “Don’t let the world influence the way you view yourself.” No matter what shade of color your skin is, or the size of your lips or nose… everyone can choose to smile, and every smile is beautiful.

    Reply
  • Millionairedatingapp

    September 13, 2017 at 10:57 pm

    Do not lose hope. You will find someone. Maybe you are too fast. Chat with girls first, let them know you and then ask for a date at the right time.

    Reply
  • True George

    November 10, 2017 at 11:05 am

    sounds like a plea of self pity and lack of confidence. You need to change that attitude any women can smell a self loathing pitiful guy a mile away and they won’t give that guy the time of day. Once you change that attitude, you’ll find women everywhere……

    Reply
    • jason

      November 11, 2017 at 12:13 pm

      Thanks George… this blog wasn’t a plea of self pity or lack of confidence. Just a transparent journal entry. I’m currently in a relationship, so I’m not currently looking for anyone. But, thanks for reading.

      Reply
      • True George

        November 11, 2017 at 12:29 pm

        I apologize if the impression was about the whole blog. The comment was only limited to that particular entry.

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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP
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