My Depressing Dating Life

My dating life sucks right now. It seems as if every woman who I find attractive either lives thousands of miles away, is in a committed relationship, or she is simply not interested in me. It’s even hard to find someone to flirt with! And, the sad part about it all is that I don’t know what to do about it.

This blog may be a little more transparent than most, as I have been feeling so unhappy lately. And, I have no one to call to express my heart to about this, as most of my friends are either busy living their life or aren’t in a good space to offer me any sincere empathy or good wisdom.

Today I was so depressed about my dating life that I downloaded Tinder (a dating app on my smartphone) and created an account. And, I even matched with someone, but after I messaged her she never replied. As I swiped left time after time I became depressed, as I saw pictures and read the short bios of single people on Tinder. So, I deleted my account, as I thought to myself… “I don’t want to talk to any of these women.”

I’ve even reached out to various women over the last few weeks, asking them on dates, texting them to see how they’re doing, just trying to get to know them or spend time with them… and in those attempts, I was either ignored or rejected. Sometimes I feel like single women would rather be alone than to spend time with me. I’m at the point where today I searched the internet for marriage/relationship conferences around the country and considered registering for one of them.

I’m so tired of hearing about how hard it is for single women to find a good man. I’m tired of hearing stories about guys messing over women. It’s like, look over here (waving my hands)! Give me a chance, I’ve never messed around on anyone. I’ve always been honest. I don’t have kids. I’m intelligent. I’m not ugly 🙂 . I eat healthy. I’m a man of my word. I’m a good communicator and a good listener. I have a great job. I have great friends. I’ve never had a STD (which is a huge plus). I’m funny… etc. So, why can’t I find a good woman? What’s wrong with giving me a chance?! Sometimes I wonder if God has even forgotten about my desire for a family?

If my relationship status doesn’t change soon, I may look to move from Louisiana. I feel like most single women I’m attracted to here are either divorced, have children, or aren’t looking for a relationship. And, most of those who are divorced or have kids, are still in an on & off relationship with their ex’s. I feel like women here don’t value guys like me, and I need to move, get a fresh start, find my happiness and get my confidence back.

One of my good friends recently told me that he felt like he was never going to get married, and that he doesn’t think he would ever meet a woman who he would want to have any kids with. Well, I’m not like him… at least not yet. I haven’t lost hope that I will eventually marry someone I love and start a family.

32 thoughts on “My Depressing Dating Life

  1. I understand where you’re coming from; as I’ve been feeling the same way. I have been thinking heavily about relocating for the same reasons: Change of scenery, the chance to meet new people, and hopefully find the man I’ve been waiting for. Unfortunately for me, my plans to relocate will have to wait until my 13 year old finishes high school. But while I am here, I will continue to work on myself and do what I have to do to be sure that I’m the woman I need to be. I encourage you to do the same. Continue to allow God to mold you into the man you need to be for the right woman. Thank you for sharing. Keep your head up. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks! I just need a change… maybe since I’m so used to adapting, I forget my need to be creative.
      Plus if I do relocate… I want it to be for the RIGHT reasons. You know?

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Jason,
    I was going to message you, but thought since you were being so transparent that I should post here in case someone else can benefit. You are under what I call “Holy Ghost arrest” :). Yes, I have been there before, so I know the signs. If you think I might be on the right track, keep reading :). The only thing that will get you out is to find out from the Holy Spirit what it is that He wants from you. You probably have an idea what it is, but maybe you don’t want to deal with it or maybe you think He can’t be talking to you :). Trust me, He is talking to you and if He has a specific task or walk for you, just ask Him. I recommend total surrender, then all of a sudden you will look to your side and the woman who can walk it out with you will be there. She will be clearly the one for you. If you don’t do it this way, you may end of with someone who is not best for you, but she will hinder your ministry (whatever it is) instead of enhance it. The only problem is then, you will still have to surrender to the call or whatever you want to call it, it may or may not be “5-fold”, but it is something specific, but it is more difficult to do when you are married to a person who does not understand it. Hope you hear my heart, cause you know I love you, just a gray-haired young at heart preacher who don’t want to see you go through no unnecessary decades of avoidable stuff. Be encouraged and put Eph 5:14 on it. Also, I would love to have you join my group of intercessors, so message me on that I will get you connected. We pray on live conf call and individually. TheresaT.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dating in general is hard for us all, I honestly believe there are a lot of hurt people wondering around unsure of who they are or what they want. It’s not something I plan to give up on though. Keep going, she’s out there and probably feeling the same way you do.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Wow Jason. Thanks for such an inspiring read from the male’s point of view. I recently wrote a similar post – you can check it out here https://yearofvulnerability.wordpress.com/2017/06/08/the-dating-rollercoaster/ – mine coming from the female perspective. I guess some of us have to put in harder work than others. I moved cities and still no takers. Haha!

    I hope you find your lady. You seem like a really genuine guy. I’ll check out the rest of your blog.

    Emma.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Emma ☺
      Read some of your blog… will read the rest later. Some people have easy time getting married or dating. Not me. Its not that I can’t find women to go out with, its that right now I don’t like most of what I see.
      I’ve found that the pursuit of love and happiness is a journey that can break you and totally change you. And I know in my journey I’ve redefined beauty.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I feel it a few reasons why. But I was pertaining to this reason, because in my opinion, when the type of people you’re attracted to and compatible with doesn’t match up well with the majority of single people in your surroundings, then it’s going to be more difficult to find dates.
        It’s harder to find an available “Claire Huxtable” when living in Louisiana than it would be living in DC.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Hey Hun, all is well. I’ve always thought it better to be alone and happy than attached and on inconsistent levels of contentment and happiness. You’re also alone in this, so many of us struggle to find the right person to start a life with etc but the key isn’t to lose hope. God knows the right time to bless us and some day, hopefully soon, it will happen!

    Love, T

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think its hard for everyone looking for something on the meaningful side . I swipe left all the time I think I gave myself carpal tunnel. Seriously. Its just so weird (Tinder and dating sites) because we are supposed to see a static 2 dimensional pic and decide. I know guys who look like shit in pics but when they are right their with their personalities shining and they ARE attractive its a whole other thing. Same with someone who looks amazing in a pic but when you meet them and they open their mouths its all over. oh well what to do.

    Like

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