Everyone wants to feel safe in a relationship. No one jumps out of an airplane without a parachute. The decision to love and open up your heart can be scary. It’s because the world is so critical and judgmental, but that shouldn’t mean that you close up and put your heart in solitary confinement. How can you expect to receive the benefits which come from being immersed into a relationship, when you prefer the safety of standing on the sidelines. Get in the game!
This past weekend, I saw a lot of women in groups hanging out together in the French Quarter. Hey, I honestly understand the plethora of issues that come with relationships, and I don’t think that everyone should be coupled up all the time. Nevertheless, I feel many women choose to be alone. They love the safety of female friendships or men who they wouldn’t date, and just hook-up with people randomly to fulfill their sexual needs. Eventually, we all have to get out of our comfort zone and stop basing our attitudes and actions off of what we feel we deserve.
Men want a family, but don’t want to take responsibility of their children. Women want to be loved, but only want to give love when it’s convenient for them. Their will always be issues. In general, most people want to invest little and get a lot. However, the most successful businesses invest for the long-term, not for the short-term. So, what does that mean to me relationship-wise? It means that beauty fades, and I need to be with someone who really values me for a long term relationship, because marriage “…under God, ’till death do you part“, sure looks like a successful relationship to me.
I also find a lot of women my age fear commitment. It may be because they fear divorce. You know disagreements come and go. As I’ve matured, I have seen that people are prone to disagree and separate for a time, whether they are married or not. But, if they really love each other, it will always be forgiveness and a strong connection between them. So, I’m not scared or worried about divorce, what I’m worried about is wasting my time in relationships with people who don’t love and value me.
I see so many awesome beautiful intelligent artistic lovely women in this world. But, I can’t develop a relationship with any one of them unless they open up their heart, and willing to take some of their precious time to spend with me and talk to me. No one who’s pursing their purpose has all the time in the world, but they will always sacrifice it for what’s important to them. There is a difference between having a fear of commitment and using wisdom in who you date.
Great post Jason! I am actually that woman that just doesn’t date because it’s easier and less stressful. I don’t plan to be this way forever, but for now it works. I love your take on both the male and female views. And you’re right……we must all learn to open up….Just a Little!
🙂 thanks for replying D!
This might sound horrible, but I’m afraid of being with someone who was not good enough. You know how they always tell women to support their man, build their man, develop their man etc. I’m so afraid I’m going to meet someone who is going to require more energy then I can give. I want someone who is already developed and we can just continue to move forward together.
I am the exact same way. I think it’s because I’ve been in so many relationships and even a marriage with men that didn’t have it together and it only brought me down emotionally and financially. I can’t do that again.
Yes, I’m afraid of being dragged down and unhappy. People make me feel like I am wrong for feeling that way and it’s frustrating. I had someone tell me as long as he has a job it shouldn’t matter, but it does matter.
Yeah you can’t be your man’s momma and his girl. Both people should be able to support each other. Don’t be afraid of that. I feel like if you meet someone who takes care of himself well and has good stable friends, he’ll take care of you.
True, that is the goal.