Are We Committed to Each Other… Do I Even Care?

Are the relationship statuses between women and men just simply, ‘Friends, Lovers, or Nothing’? Just like one of John Mayer’s songs may propose.. Questions about the status of a relationship are not so easy to determine sometimes. This is why marriage has always been a vital part in determining the commitment status of couples, as people have engaged in meaningful relationships throughout all of life.

As I continue my pursuit to find that someone to share my love with.. I can see that a lot of people are having just as much trouble as I am, identifying the commitment part that comes with being in an intimate relationship. I do know this.. if I’m having a hard time labeling my relationship with a female, then I know that she probably isn’t really that committed to me.. and vice versa.

To me a big part of life is all about finding the right people to create relationships with, and finding that special someone to share your life with. Even the monks in Tibet (or wherever they may be) who put themselves through extensive unnecessary pain and live in almost complete solitary, are doing it solely for the fact that they believe it will make them have a better relationship with their God, or whatever divine entity.

I don’t believe that anyone can live their life alone.. I don’t care who they are! We all need someone, even if we don’t want them at the time.

I know there are some who honestly don’t want to be committed to anyone.. and that’s cool! They don’t want to go through the hassle of being tied down to just one woman/man, for whatever reason. One common reason I see more and more, is those who are too busy with their career, and just won’t spare the time to have the type of relationship that will meet their expectations.. But, even their commitment status is clear, they’re just a friend with benefits.

Good relationships are so hard to find these days. Marriage is not even close to my mind right now (though I wait expectantly until the time when it is).. because of a variety of reasons. However, I’m not going to wait on Cinderella to jump into my arms.. she doesn’t exist 🙂 , and I know I’m not Prince Charming.. I’m his brother-in-law, Sir Cool, from the clan of Cool’s  🙂 haha.

The level of difficulty in finding a woman that I’m attracted to, and developing a relationship with her has risen another level. Honestly, the thought of living with a woman, while being unmarried, has never entered my mind.. ever! Until recently.. and as my feelings and opinions are evolving.. my actions are changing. I used to look down on couples who lived together, and weren’t married. My thinking was that, “If you believe in marriage, and you are living together, why don’t you just take the next step? What is it that’s hindering you from being an adult and making a decision that reciprocates your beliefs?”. Now, what if I put myself in that position? What would be my answer to that question?

As of right now, this would be my answer to that question.. “My desire to embrace love is stronger than my feelings of living a so-called righteous lifestyle of celibacy, which eliminates those who want my love but aren’t able to identify with me, and places my feelings and desires under solitary confinement based on a premarital structure that doesn’t fully capsulize the realities that my life causes me to presently live within.” .. more or less..

Not that I’m running around looking for sexual intimacy, flagging down women in spandex workout clothes.. haha 🙂 . That would be a little extreme! But, I understand those who are trying to find love, and choose to endure the circumstances that come along with all the dynamics of any committed intimate relationship.

svg5 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...

One Comment

  • jason

    July 26, 2012 at 7:18 pm

    I had too much on my mind.. this post seems a little too long :).. but hey..


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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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