I’m stepping out in faith and proclaiming I will be either engaged or married by this time next year. There it is… I said it. I want to be loved. I want to make love. I want to give love.
2022 has now come to an end and 2023 is only a few hours away. My main priority for next year is to make a few strategic investments so I can put myself in the best position to build the right relationships in my personal life.
It’s easy to have a passive attitude towards dating.
A lot of people are passive about creating new relationships. I hear women on podcasts always talking about how they do not want to take the initiative towards engaging with men. And, I know there have been numerous times where I didn’t approach a woman who I found attractive, for fear of rejection.
I’ve spent over two decades of my life patiently waiting for the right woman. I’ve heard time and time again, “Jason, just be patient. Relationships take time. Everything is going to be ok. You’ll meet the right woman soon. Only fools rush in.” Ok. Every relationship takes time. It takes time to create lasting memories. It takes time to get to know someone. But, since no one knows exactly when the right woman will come into my life, or how much time I should wait for love… I decided to create my own timetable. I’m tired of waiting for love.
Everyone has their own timetable when it comes to dating. I know a few beautiful women who stayed in dating relationships for years, with no long-term commitment, all while wanting to be married. This is a great example of having a passive attitude.
I will never be truly happy in a relationship unless I have the courage to be transparent about my relationship goals.
It takes courage to set dating goals and effort to be intentional about achieving them.
I date with purpose. My primary reason for dating is marriage. Although marriage is not essential for one to lead a fulfilling life, however it is very important if you want to build a family (procreate) and/or become the best version of yourself.
If a woman doesn’t want to be married… that’s a dealbreaker for me. We might as well just agree to be friends right then. Because in order for us to date, we have to first be in agreement on our dating goals.
Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?
Amos 3:3 NLT
Despite popular belief, marriage doesn’t have to be difficult. Marriage should be fun. I honestly feel if I can have sex with a woman, then I could potentially marry her. It’s that simple. It’s not I believe every woman I am sexually attracted to is marriage material. No, I don’t feel that way. I’m not ignorant.
It’s not like I have women throwing themselves at me. It’s difficult to even find attractive single women who want to talk to me. Nevertheless, since I value my integrity and I do not engage in casual sex with women I don’t trust. Plus, I only socialize in certain circles; so I don’t even meet women who I don’t respect. All of this is why I feel I could potentially marry any woman who I would consider having sex with.
I am looking forward to dating in 2023. As I felt so lonely and disgusted during the past Christmas holidays. The past few weeks have been so draining. I was physically and emotionally tired. I wasn’t feeling well. People around me weren’t feeling well. I was lonely. I was exhausted from traveling and stressed from working. I was unhappy with some of my personal decisions. Nothing felt right.
This may seem disgusting, but the past week literally felt like I was forced to sleep in a sleeping bag that someone else urinated in during a camping trip. Although I felt grateful to have family to spend the holidays with, I still felt so unhappy as I had to endure being uncomfortable and also powerless to change my circumstances.
During the Christmas holidays I didn’t feel like calling or talking to anyone. I barely felt like being cordially friendly with my family.
Sometimes I feel we need to embrace the moments in time where we don’t feel our best. Do not ignore your down times. Use those memories to your benefit.
My ability to recall memories of pain is directly related to the amount of effort I place into making decisions that will ultimately change my circumstances for the better.
Memories of pain, not memories of comfort, are generally the driving forces behind people who overcome challenging circumstances. The desire to never relive painful memories forces us to make the hard necessary decisions which will ultimately facilitate change and propel us into a better situation.
So as I take time to think about my dating goals for 2023, I answered the following three questions.
- What is preventing me from attracting the right woman?
- How is my ego, or my past dating experiences, affecting my current dating decisions?
- Am I being honest with myself about the type of woman I want?
I’m not going to divulge my heartfelt answers to those questions. But, I will say my answers has caused me to take a few different approaches to dating. In 2023 I will invest more money and time in dating. I will be more open to developing friendships with women. And, I will be more determined about spending quality time talking with women and going on actual dates.
I pray I find love in 2023.