As covid-19 precautions are slowly decreasing, I believe things will open up a little more, making it a little easier to date and socialize. However, that’s just one small piece of the puzzle as I’m still trying to figure out how to go about dating in 2021 and try to heal this insatiable itch to experience real love and have a family.
So, now I’m kind of in a conundrum… should I invest my time and emotional energy into women I previously dated or are already in my circle? Or should I make more of an effort to reach out to women I’m not connected with, like through dating apps? (**If you make a comment… please share your heart on this.)
Dating is a risky business. I’m now in my early forties. I work constantly. I simply don’t have the energy to consistently be in and out of relationships. Plus the type of women I’m attracted to are usually already in relationships or are emotionally unavailable due to present life circumstances or lifestyle.
Are You Emotionally Unavailable?
I have to say this. Being emotionally unavailable due to the season of life you’re in or whatever… is another way of saying, “I don’t want you.“
This is something I’ll never understand, but I know a lot of women truly believe saying “I don’t want you right now.” is completely different from saying “I don’t want you.“… but to me both statements mean the exact same thing. Whether someone doesn’t want you now or later, doesn’t take away from the fact they don’t want you. I suppose some women feel that rejection with a smiley face is different from saying it bluntly. Anyway. I won’t go down that rabbit hole any further.
The Courage of Embracing Love.
It takes courage to allow someone new in your life. Especially when time and resources are so valuable.
Why is it that so many single professionals are so fearful or nervous when it comes to meeting someone new? It’s because we are tired of dealing with people’s crap. I know I’m tired of dealing with it.
Selfishness, individualism and unforgiveness has become so prevalent to the point it’s very difficult to be real with people… so the real question is how do you make someone lower their facade? The answer is… you can’t.
I feel most people don’t have the courage to do what it takes in order to find love. After watching Tina Turner’s new documentary (which I loved btw, as it allowed me to see the contrasting differences between the icon Tina Turner and the reality of Anna Mae Bullock, which is her real name) … I digress. Tina said it best in her recent documentary, when it showed a clip of a 1985 interview on her life after experiencing much success. Tina spoke as a single mother in her forties after experiencing much heartbreak, yet still desiring to be loved. Tina stated, “I will have love once I’ve earned it.”
Her story about not experiencing genuine love through her early adult life is powerful. Some of what she said still echo in my mind. Nevertheless, her life is proof that people who really want love… I promise, they will sacrifice in order to get it.
I Need A Woman Who Makes Me Feel Special
The truth is… no matter how many folks you match with on dating apps, no matter how many women/men you flirt with, no matter how man people are attracted to you… only a few people will ever be able to treat you and think of you as special.
When you’re young it’s much easier to believe the lie, that you will always have the opportunity to meet someone special. The older I become, the clearer I see how little time I have. And, having options doesn’t mean anything… if none of them are compatible. Just think, how many people have buckets of screws in their garage, but it’s a reason why we always have to go back to Home Depot to find a screw that fits. It’s because there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to being in love.
Almost every day I see one of my single female friends enjoying life on social media. Posting pictures from a birthday party, traveling to a resort, or just out and about dressed up with their friends. People are actively investing in their happiness despite covid-19. I’m about to be one of them.
It’s time to tear down our facades and be real about our feelings. If we are strong enough to give rejection, we should be strong enough to face rejection. All to say love and dating has always been a risky business. I sometimes wish Wal-Mart sold relationships 🙂 . Just kidding…
Honestly, I’m still learning what makes me happy and how to make myself happy. I want to make the best decisions. So I can live the life I want for myself. Yet, no matter the amount of wealth or other little things I accumulate, at the end of the day if I don’t have someone to share my life with, I’ll never truly enjoy it.