Lately I have become more inclined to speak my feelings with a little more bluntness, along with sprinkles of truth and sincerity. It’s time that I start acknowledging my feelings, and place a higher value on expressing my heart rather than on other people’s feelings. Not that I intend to be rude or negative, as I want to speak life into the world around me. Love doesn’t always feel good. Sometimes you have to tell people things they may not like… it takes courage to be honest and speak truth in love.
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day.. and I had no one to kiss. Awww… 🙂
What comes to mind when I think of Valentine’s Day are the pretty girls smiling in the hallway between classes in high school, as they hold teddy bears and presents from their boyfriends or secret admirers. Over the years I have given my share of red roses, chocolates, stuffed animals, candles, gifts, etc. out to women. I appreciate taking a day to celebrate romance & love. Yet what does this holiday mean to me really? And, now that I think about it, I don’t remember ever receiving anything on Valentine’s Day. So essentially, to me, Valentine’s Day is oftentimes a reminder of unreciprocated love.
Earlier tonight I asked myself, “Why is Valentine’s Day even celebrated?“, so I researched it a little. It is a Roman Catholic holiday that celebrated the life of a saint who was martyred like over a thousand years ago. Click here to read about it… it’s very interesting.
I called this blog Truth Sessions because I want to start taking time to answer and expound on questions that I see being asked by my female friends. Real questions need real answers.
What is the benefit of marriage?
I believe many people, both married and unmarried, really have a tough time answering this question. People in our generation are becoming more inconsistent with their ideas and thoughts. No thought, belief, or way of life is universally accepted. Being ignorant or hypocritical in how you define your ideas or beliefs will lead to a life of inconsistency and confusion.
First let’s define marriage. Marriage is a public union between two people where the participating partners grant each other mutual conjugal rights and responsibilities. Marriage is essentially the main determining factor in how families are built and children are raised.
In modern society, many adults in my generation were raised in single-parent homes, have experienced the pain of divorce, and don’t have many friends who are happily married. So, I totally understand the question. Women who don’t trust in relationships, who have no conviction about having sex outside of marriage, who are selfish, who are happy with being alone, who fear the idea of being submissive, and who are financially independent or receive government assistance… to her, marriage has NO benefit.
However… to the woman who is giving, who desires a committed relationship that provides intimacy, safety and financial security, who has convictions about having sex outside of marriage, who needs a support system, who has friends and family who are happily married, and who cares about the mental and emotional well-being of their family… she can easily see the benefits of marriage.
I get it. A woman doesn’t need a man to define her or bring her happiness (and vice versa). However, marriage does serves a purpose. It is and has been a fundamental part of humanity. Though marriage does has religious roots & origins (like most things, I would like to add), it still has many benefits to all people despite their religious beliefs. I also realize everyone is not meant to be married. Personally, I have a strong desire to find a wife. I need intimacy & I definitely don’t want to live alone. I know what I want. Just having a hard time finding a woman who wants me.
February 15, 2021 at 2:50 am
Hey Jason. Happy late Valentine’s Day 🙂
Thanks for being vulnerable in this post- I’m curious.. what do you want? What are you looking for in a wife?
Are you more traditional or modern? As I get older and continue to navigate being single, I’m asking myself some questions to see what I’m missing or if I can change my approach.
February 15, 2021 at 3:21 pm
Hi 🙂 Thanks for the Happy Valentine’s day, I wish you a happy Monday :).
You know I’m very flexible when it comes to relationships, as I don’t have a plethora of woman to choose from. I would say I’m both modern and traditional, because of my life experiences. I’ve never asked a lot from a woman, except that she love me and have honest transparent communication with me… as I want an intimate relationship.
I definitely want a wife I’m attracted to – I love women who smile. l don’t have any height/weight restrictions, but I am attracted to healthy athletic women. I want a wife who has something to loose – this is important as it lets me know she values me and she understands sacrifice. I want a wife who is a Christian and who loves people – as many of my friends are diverse, I want my wife to be secure in herself and have the ability to give love to others.
February 15, 2021 at 4:08 pm
Gotcha – I ask because- I’ve also considered myself modern and traditional- and have come to realize that you can’t really be both. For example, I’m the type that will bring my resources to the relationship and expect my husband to do the same. Gender roles are more fluid. As opposed to being a stay at home mom- or my husband being the sole bread-winner. Approaching it this way.. is helping me see what lane I’m in and who else is in it with me.
Its definitely frustrating to miss the mark.
What do you mean by “having something to loose?” Like being more dependent on you in some cases?
I can feel her energy from your description- it’s nice.
February 15, 2021 at 4:11 pm
Also.. sorry if I’m getting a little deep. It’s just that I’ve been following you for quite some time and at least from your writing you seem like a great catch and wonder about your journey.
February 15, 2021 at 9:01 pm
Yeah ☺ No worries. I made this blog for this very reason, to express my heart and connect. Yes, when I say I’m both modern & traditional, I’m saying that I understand & value traditional gender roles, but I’m also flexible and I know we have to be hustlers in today’s society in order to achieve success and financial security (as I wasn’t born with a silver spoon).
And when I say I want a woman “with something to loose”, I’m not talking about dependency. If my wide wants to work or not to work, I may have an opinion based upon varying circumstances but that’s her choice. I’m more so referring to her having integrity and she cares about her private or professional reputation, or maybe some investment property, etc. People who don’t have anything of value won’t value anything you have. I’ve found that people with nothing to loose will do crazy things.
February 15, 2021 at 10:15 pm