Yesterday evening I took a walk outside my condo. As I was walking along the beach feeling the cool breeze, sand beneath my toes, enjoying the gorgeous view of the orange sun shining through the clouds. I began to think about the past. Past relationships, past hopes, past dreams, past feelings, past friendships. It’s all in the past.
I thought about a lot of things. But, one thing I thought about was love and relationships. There are times I just want someone to kiss. I thought about why so many people I know are either going through a divorce, coming out of a divorce, or are struggling trying to make it in their relationship. It’s getting hard out here for everyone, regardless if you’re single or not.
Though I know that most people want someone to share love with, a lot of people are losing hope. They have forgotten how to be romantic, and have lost hope in marriage or that they will ever find true love.
In today’s world, it’s easy to see that people are having trouble with just the idea of marriage. Many people fear sacrifice, and/or simply don’t want to carry the seemingly heavy burden of a committed relationship. One of the first women I truly loved felt this way. I loved her so much, I even loved her imperfections. Nevertheless, even though she had feelings for me, I couldn’t bear to continue to pursue a woman who loved her career more than me. And, at that time, she was focused on building her life and pursing her passions. I felt like a side piece at times. Needless to say, it didn’t work out.
If you are looking to meet someone… timing is everything.
As a man who is in the process of getting a divorce, I am realizing the importance or value of meeting someone at the right time in their life. It’s like you can meet someone who you’re attracted to, compatible with, etc. and still not be able to make a relationship work, as there are so many elements involved in being with someone. Elements such as:
- Where/When did you meet them? – I believe you can meet anyone anywhere. But, I know for a fact that some women don’t even open up their heart to talk, unless they had a drink or are in an environment that’s comfortable for them. One of my first girlfriends didn’t give me a chance when I first met her at a party, but after I made the extra effort to call her, and she was alone, then she showed interest in me.
- Are they coming out of a bad relationship? – Most people need time to find themselves after coming out of a bad relationship. Period. However, few people are honest enough to tell you the truth about previous relationships.
- Are they stable in life? – A lot of people aren’t in a perfect situation. They are in-between jobs, busy trying to work and go to graduate school, living with a friend or at their parent’s house, or maybe they don’t know what they want. These people just need a little time to work it out. But, you have to be honest with yourself, and ask the hard question… Do I trust them? And, am I willing to wait for them to get their life right?
As adults we all have our own wants, desires, and opinions about how we want to live our life. But, when you’re in a real relationship, it’s difficult for a lot of people to start thinking about “we” and not “me”. Everyone has to agree that it is difficult to find true love, but it’s even harder to stay in love and maintain a committed relationship once you’re in it.
You know… even though I’m in the process of getting a divorce. Which is heavy on my mind and spirit. I know eventually I’ll find love again. I am just taking time to appreciate the people who love me, and also care for those who need me.