Let me just answer the question of “Do most women want a Good Guy?” The answer is simply put… NO.
Now, I know some women do want a “Good guy”. And, most women when asked the question, the majority would probably say, “Yes, I want a good guy.” But, I believe a person’s true feelings aren’t seen in what they say, but in what they do. In this case who they go out with. As I feel more women are more likely to go out on dates with, be attracted to, pursue, flirt with or succumb to the advances of the type of men who wouldn’t be classified as a “good guy”. It’s not just me saying this, I’ve seen so many examples of why I feel this way.
It’s like how many women would actually want a guy like Stephen Curry? Very few. I feel most women would rather live an independent lifestyle void of a relationship or would be more attracted to a Kanye West or Jay-Z.
Ok… so when I’m saying most women, I’m really talking about or generalizing single professional women of color who are in the 20-40 age range.
Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of posts by various female friends on social media, as they share their opinions/thoughts/feelings on the publicized relationship drama of music celebrities Cardi B and Offset. It shocked me to see how many female friends of mine were disappointed in Cardi B for even postulating reuniting with her child’s father, after he made a publicized apology on stage while she was performing.
So… here’s the story line for all of you (like me) who have no idea what is going on, or who these people are. Story line: Man and woman are in relationship -> Woman gets pregnant -> Man and woman get engaged -> Man allegedly cheats on woman -> Woman is hurt and breaks up with man, but still considers the relationship -> Man apologizes and woman accepts.
I read one person say that Cardi B’s decision to stand by her man is “…gross and dangerous.” Now, I personally don’t feel anyone should choose to be in a relationship with someone they don’t trust or subject themselves to a toxic living environment for the sake of love. And, as I am going through a divorce right now, I would recommend anyone who has relationship issues with their spouse to consider working it out before calling it quits. Also consider going to counseling before making a costly life-changing decision based off of your emotions.
Even Cardi B said this about her not leaving Offset after she found out that he cheated on her, “It’s like everybody is coming down my neck like, ‘Why are you not leaving him? You have low self-esteem.’ I don’t have low self-esteem,” she retorted in an interview with Cosmopolitan. “I know I look good. I know I’m rich, I know I’m talented. I know I could get any man I want—any basketball player, football player. But, I want to work out my sh-t with my man, and I don’t got to explain why…It’s not right, what he f–king did—but people don’t know what I did, ’cause I ain’t no angel..”
What she said, and how she said it, lets me know something very important. It shows me two things: (1) she is cognizant of her flaws and who she is, (2) she is wise enough to not allow others to influence her decisions.
The story I want to focus on is the great divide between the thoughts/feelings of men and women in how they perceive this whole situation. It’s a simple picture of a man attempting to apologize for his actions and a woman accepting it on face value. As most men feel like Offset did a respectable thing that showed his true heart’s desire to make the relationship with Cardi B work out. And, most women feel like Cardi B should not have accepted his apology and shouldn’t stick it out with him at all.
I personally don’t know if their relationship will survive or fail. For the sake of their child, I hope they can work it out, because every child needs their parents. And, I know the stress, confusion, hurts, and struggles that come with be a single parent and going through a divorce. It sucks… point blank. Even though they are celebrities, these people are also real people with real families, and no one wants to go through a divorce if they don’t have to.
And, I don’t know Offset. I don’t know if he’s a “good guy” or not. I’ve never heard any of his music, nor do I know how he became a celebrity. I kind of feel that this whole shenanigan may just be a conjured up drama by the media to market and promote their image.
All in all, it just tears my heart apart to see how polarized we are becoming as a nation. There has always been polarization of thought when it came to political issues, religious beliefs, and racial social concerns. But are we now becoming drastically polarized in thought with gender biases?? I understand that they will always be haters and people who start confusion, but we need more leaders who promote agreement and genuinely want to come together.