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Winter’s Lonliness

It seems like the hounds of winter are calling out into the cold nights. Young single adults are emitting cries of loneliness through social media and online dating apps. The feeling of family, the desire to not be alone during the holidays, the longing for someone to share love with, wanting to kiss the lips of your love under the mistletoe, all these things are normal. It’s like during the wintertime our need for affection increases. What puzzles me is how people are fulfilling their need for affection, or ignoring their needs period.

For me personally, I already know that I’m going to be alone this holiday season πŸ™ . I know… it’s sad. But, I am not in the right place emotionally to even give a woman anything, nor do I have the energy to pursue a woman. Even though I can only assume what a woman would want from me. I’m just broken. My heart is broken and I’m taking a vacation from dating right now. As I would rather be lonely than hurt someone else with my brokenness

At this time in my life, I am a lost man in a lost world. 

I need to find my faith in love all over again. This is the time of year where I love staying up late drinking hot cocoa laughing and crying as I watch romantic comedies. Christmastime and New Year’s romance dramas like Eddie Murphy and Halle Berry in Boomerang, and Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally. Even though I know it’s unrealistic, for a film buff like me I still dream about experiencing “movie love”. 

I want to make 2 comments on what I see in today’s single professional adult. 1. MOST People Fantasize About Being In A Loving Relationship, But Are Truly Happier Being Alone – It’s crazy to think about because it’s truly hypocritical. How can you say you want real love, when you only want love when you want it… which is temporal and unrealistic? As real love requires a sacrifice. It requires an emotional investment. It requires time to develop, truth, trust, transparency, etc. It’s just one thing I recognize about a lot of single people is that they are not being honest with themselves about what they actually want from a relationship, and what they are willing to give. Because a lot of people are truly happier with the freedom of being alone and making social media posts about their life than they ever would be in a relationship.  

2. EVERY Meaningful Relationship First Started With An Introduction – You’ll never have a chance to meet the right person unless you give someone a try. Yes, it’s true… there aren’t a lot of places that have a great atmosphere for meet and greet. And there isn’t a store with a special aisle where I can shop for single adults, even though people use Tinder and Match.com with that same mindset. I’m speaking from experience πŸ™‚ . I suppose I’m tired of seeing people complain about not being in a relationship, yet don’t make the effort to create one.Β 

The world wants us to think that sex is the only reason to pursue a relationship. But a relationship is so much more than sex and physical attraction. It’s about companionship, partnership, and the power of agreement. Two people in agreement will always be better than one. If you want to build or create something special in life, you need someone to help you. Not everyone is Oprah πŸ™‚ .

If you’re lonely and want someone this holidays, the best thing you can probably do is pray and fast that God send you someone to love. Even if you aren’t really feeling them to date them… just be honest about your feelings and stay friends. As it’s better to have a friend with no expectations, then to not have anyone. 

svg5 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...

2 Comments

  • sublime11

    December 17, 2018 at 3:59 am

    I’m confused. I thought you were married have you got a divorce? Omg lonely article. Praying for your relationship to God and to other people hope you’ll find comfort in His presence!

    Reply
    • jason

      December 11, 2019 at 6:30 pm

      Sorry, I didn’t respond last year. But… yes. I appreciate your prayers

      Reply

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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP



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