Insecure

If you love reading about or discussing relationship issues, and haven’t seen Issa Rae acting on Insecure then you are missing out. Here is a link to the first episode of the series – Insecure Season 1: Episode 1.

This new TV show, airing on HBO, is so real to me. It’s an exceptional show that is receiving a lot of praise. I haven’t seen all of the episodes so far, but from what I have seen it’s good. It’s a comedy, that is written from a modern-day black female perspective. Issa Rae, executive producer and plays the main character of the show, is doing her best to show the world what it’s like to be a single black female in Los Angeles, CA.

Having lived and dated around in Los Angeles, I think the show is more real than fiction. Los Angeles is one of the most amazing places I’ve ever been. It’s the city of angels :), filled with opportunities and dreams. It can feel so large and overwhelming at times, and other times it seems so small. It’s a city where you can meet and socialize with any type of person on any given day, but it’s also a place where you can feel so alone. The city is like a huge party… it can be very superficial, and it can be hard to create loyal friendships and “real” relationships.

I personally know how difficult it can be to find real love in Los Angeles. Everyone is really working hard pursing their dreams, a lot of people don’t live a stable lifestyle, and most people are transplants, so they have no family structure within the city… all of which and more makes it very hard to establish and invest in a long-term relationship. I feel that it is especially difficult for black women who want to be in a monogamous relationship with a black man.

Most single “quality” men, regardless of race, aren’t truly seeking committed relationships in a place like Los Angeles, simply because of the plethora of available women. I’ll never forget one Sunday, a few years ago, I was sitting in a church I regularly attended in Los Angeles; and as I looked around the crowd I thought to myself, “I’ve never seen so many young beautiful attractive women in one place in my life.” And, this was at church! Plus, marriage doesn’t carry the same value in Los Angeles, as it does in the South, or other states in the Bible Belt. Well… enough said.

I feel many single black women will identify with Issa Rae’s character. However, I also feel being a successful single black female isn’t the worst thing in the world. Darker skinned black women are getting more shine. And, I’m seeing more of black women dating outside their race. This show does a great job in bringing light to these subjects that are often dismissed.

After watching the 1st episode, watching the scene where Molly was talking about black men, it made me realize how I became more open to dating outside my race when I moved to Los Angeles. The truth is… it’s hard to find someone that shares your same values, are attracted to, and is compatible with you on a spiritual level, mental level, financial level, etc. One thing I know about black women is that none of them want to “settle”… but why do I see so many of them settling, and have kids for guys who are wack fathers? Making love is easy, finding someone who loves you is hard.

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