Learning to deal with rejection

It’s so common for people to feel rejected, or feel down, when they don’t get what they want. Grown adults sometimes act like kids when they don’t get what they want. It’s like people want everything to happen immediately. Although patience is a fruit of the spirit, at times I feel that patience isn’t a virtue that is widely considered worth having.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Or you could say it’s today, as it’s currently after midnight. But, I’m not thinking about what I’m going to eat tomorrow, or what family members are coming to our family Thanksgiving, or about the pilgrims who created this holiday, or about the paper I’m supposed to be writing for my Business Management class. If you’re single, holidays can make you feel so lonely. Right now I’m thinking about my past relationships, and trying to find clarity on what’s hindering me from finding someone special and being in a serious relationship.

It’s not like I’m looking for the perfect woman or perfect situation. And, I’m sooo tired of long distance relationships. It’s like, do I have to travel across the world to find someone that wants to be with me?  And, honestly that’s how I feel right now, but if this single life situation continues for next few months, I might have to reconsider my attitude on that.

Another thing is… and I really don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Nevertheless, I’m becoming more indifferent about being rejected by women. It’s like if she’s not the one, then who’s next. I personally feel that’s not the best attitude to have. But, I feel like my heart has been calloused towards females. I feel confident in knowing what I want. And, I define myself less by whether I get rejected by a woman I’m attracted to because either my wants aren’t compatible with hers, or she’s not attracted to me. I define myself more so by my feelings… I like me and I’m satisfied with that. But, I do know it takes two to have a family, and that’s what I ultimately want.

It’s just that I used to be more cautious about who I approached. I used to feel a little down when women would tell me they were in a relationship, or they would ignore me, or they’re not interested in me for some reason. But now, it doesn’t feel good, but it doesn’t hurt either.

I didn’t grow up in an environment where I got everything that I wanted. Not that I had a bad childhood, but I definitely wasn’t spoiled. Even as an adult I had to train myself that it was o.k. to ask for certain things, because throughout my life I rarely got what I asked for. Growing up, I felt I had more differences than similarities with most people, and the rejection I received from girls I liked, from family and friends, ultimately from the world around me caused me to be selective in who I gave my heart to. Even though I still can be selective, I am definitely more free with myself and I look for things that connect me with others. You know, no one wants to be rejected. Over time I have just learned to deal with it and move on. You live and you learn.

svg4 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...


  • academichustler1975

    November 24, 2016 at 8:50 am

    Rejection always feels like a tug to your self esteem. What you crave for when dating will be shown in various parts of people, but not always in that one…at least for now. But if they are quick to reject or say, no…then I see that as a red flag and not what I would have wanted anyway. By knowing my worth I would want someone to say, fuck yes to me with his words and action. So, rejection hurts but it hurts the ego…but when someone invests in me it’s more than my ego that’s being fed…it’s my character.

    So, the ego can feed or starve your body, and rejection is one of its food items. Don’t let it starve you, because it will turn everything good about you into an examination of your perceived worthlessness…and we know you have substance and sustenance that someone else is craving for and wandering the streets looking for you just as much as you are for her.

    • jason

      November 24, 2016 at 9:53 am

      That’s true

  • Maya Moore

    November 29, 2016 at 1:30 pm

    “It’s like if she’s not the one, then who’s next?” LOL that line had me cracking up! But ultimately, though it can come off as callous, I agree, because I know your heart. And recently I’ve kind of taken on that attitude too. We are getting older, we don’t have the time we did when we were younger. If someone is not right for us, it’s better to find that out soon, deal with the grief (however long is needed) but ultimately keep it moving. How sad can you be about someone who ultimately wasn’t the right one in the first place. (easier said than done, i know lol)

    • jason

      November 29, 2016 at 3:14 pm



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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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