Are You “In Love”?

I feel society has glorified the feeling of being “in love”. The way society brands being “in love”, it makes everyone want it. I know I want it :). Being “in love” is supposed to feel like some type of high or euphoric feeling or something, you know.

After seeing the previews for this recent movie The Lobster, (a lot of my friends say it’s good too) it made me think about how much pressure is placed on single people to find love and get married. I know I’ve felt pressured to find love from my friends and family at one time or another. And as I’m currently in a relationship, I can’t help but wonder if my expectations of being “in love” is even realistic? Or if am I looking to feel something that only exists in the movies (which is unrealistic)?

One thing about me is that I am pretty in tune with my feelings. I don’t know if I’ve ever been “in love”, but I’ve told all my girlfriends I loved them (and I did). Now that I’m thinking, I wonder if someone was ever “in love” with me 🙂 ? Anyway… no worries. That’s the past. Right now I’m probably in the most serious relationship I’ve ever been in, and I love her, but one question I ask myself is — What does being “in love” really look like? And, I’m also beginning to recognize that men are really from Mars and women are really from Venus 🙂 , and that in itself causes issues. Nevertheless, I know that every relationship has issues and no relationship is perfect, but I also ask myself — What relationship issues should I ignore and what issues should I pay attention to?

Recently I was talking to one of my friends, and he told me that he was thinking about getting a divorce. This totally took me by surprise! Because when I look at him, he has what I want! He has a great job… he has a beautiful wife and kids… he’s living a good Christian lifestyle… and he’s financial stable. His situation just makes me understand all the more, that when people say they just want to be happy… listen to them! You can do everything right, but if you can’t find a way to make someone happy, or vice versa, then your relationship is potentially due to fail.

As I look inside my heart, currently sitting in an almost empty coffee shop in Mid-City New Orleans, typing on my laptop, right now, right here… I feel that being “in love” with someone basically means being happy in an intimate relationship. But, I feel it’s more than just being happy. And, honestly I really don’t know how to explain being “in love” or know what it really feels like, but I think that type of love is like an eternal candle… and when it’s lit it has the ability to burn forever. However, I do know that true love is hard to find.

I don’t have to be “in love” with someone to have a happy relationship. There are so many things that make a great relationship, but every good relationship first starts with being attracted to each other, having shared values & beliefs, being compatible, and being able to tap into their love language.

svg4 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...

One Comment

  • Maya Moore

    June 17, 2016 at 8:29 pm

    You know i have an opinion about this. 🙂 First of all i think that you dont fall in love you grow in love. I think society makes it seem like falling in love is inevitable and you are just supposed to feel an array of happy euphoric feelings and the rest will take care of itself, but that’s not true. Looking back at some of the boyfriends I’ve had i can honestly say i loved some of them, not all but it wasn’t just about the emotions. I sacrificed, gave when i didn’t want to and invested time. And vice versa. But you’re right you can do all the right things and still end up going you’re separate ways. That’s what makes love so risky, but i say it’s worth the risk. God created us to love. 🙂


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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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