How much Baggage do you have?

You know I was having tea and coffee with a friend a few nights ago. We were just catching up, talking about life and things we’re currently pursuing. She’s pretty intelligent, so I loved the conversation. Anyway, we naturally got on the topic of past relationships. Through talking with her and even some of my other friends I realize that there are so many women who have relationship wounds by guys that haven’t been healed. So they lose hope in finding love from guys, and they put up defenses to make it hard for men to get close to them, or they prefer to just hang out with their girlfriends all the time… and may even develop feelings for them.

The more I learn about people, the more I feel that life is so crazy! I feel we all have baggage. People think just because they don’t have kids, or they’re not divorced, then they don’t have any baggage. But, our life experiences with people shape our wants and expectations from people. There are adults who’ve been molested as kids, or girls who’ve been treated like sexual objects since middle school who still have identity issues and don’t know how to deal with their feelings. All it takes is a few bad experiences in a relationship, and a woman can have a negative perspective of men forever.

Previous defining life experiences, dating people without purpose, or having a lot of “friends with benefits” can be a huge baggage claim! Having someone hurt you, who you allowed to come into your life, will not only cause you pain, but it’ll influence how you interact with others and what you expect from them. It takes a special person to accept all your baggage and love you still.

No matter how much baggage you have, don’t allow your past to determine your future. We all go through seasons of life, where we may make bad decisions. But, eventually we have to learn from our mistakes and make changes if we are going to move forward. Sometimes I lose hope that I’ll find someone special, especially after I find out that a lot of women around me who I’m interested in prefer being single. All I know is I’m definitely tired of sweeping up the pieces of women’s hearts which were broken by other guys.

svg3 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...


  • iamsunnyd

    November 15, 2015 at 6:49 pm

    I know I have baggage. I understand it and try not to bring it into other relationships.

  • Jontae Grace

    November 26, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    “ People think just because they don’t have kids, or they’re not divorced, then they don’t have any baggage.”

    So true!


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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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