Have you ever had an experience where you thought something was true, then came to learn that it wasn’t true at all? Basically you took the red pill instead of the blue pill (Matrix), and now you see that the world you live in, from your relationships to what you consider valuable, is much different from what you thought… all because of a new-found revelation.
When and if that has happened to you, it can be a little startling to say the least. I know when this has happened to me, it makes me become more analytical, and therefore I begin to trust myself a little less. My guards start to come up, to the point where I will question almost everything, even my own discernment.
Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not talking about the feeling felt when you learn something new. Like when you first learn a new skill.. or when you learn something new about life, like when you first realized that your elected politician/representative will probably never impact your way of living. What I am talking about, is like the feeling felt when you first saw what a real loving caring relationship looked like, or could be… and you immediately understood that their relationship was something different then any other that you knew of. And when they said “I love you” to each other, it meant something totally different, then what it meant to others who said that exact same phrase; and your definition of love changed because of what you saw. That is what I’m talking about… a redefining moment.
Last night I felt played… “I played the fool”. In one of my close relationships, something happened that made me realize that our relationship was not what I thought it was. Even though I felt as if I knew this person inside and out; last night, all of a sudden they showed me a different side of them. I saw another side of who they were (their heart/intentions) because of how they handled a really delicate situation. Or maybe they always showed me this side of them, and I was just too naive to see them clearly.
There are some things that I believe with all of my heart. These are the things which form me… it makes me who I am. One of them is the value I place upon having a positive attitude; I feel that I should always try to be positive, hoping for the best, and looking for the best in everything. But, as I live and continue to mature as a man, what I once thought of as a by-product of positivity (me looking past personality flaws), was in fact ignorance.
I learned that sometimes people can look past and ignore the truth (which may be negative), in order to find a positive message. And you should never ignore the truths of life.
People will lie to you. People will hurt you. People will misuse you. People will slander you. People will disrespect you. People will back-stab you and tear you down if you allow them… but, that shouldn’t stop you from having relationships with people. What it should do is let you know that there are some bad people in this world, and recognize that truth. Because people can also love you. They can build your confidence. People and relationships bring color and fulfillment to our lives. But, it’s all about how you look at it. I suppose we all will “play the fool” sometime in our lives, we live and we learn… I just hope I do it less frequently then most :).