Picture this. A man is seated at a table outside the bar area of a popular restaurant in the city; enjoying the few minutes he has for his lunch break. As his attention goes back and forth from his cell phone, to surveying the menu to place an order with his server… he sits still, enjoying the natural ambiance of this clear sunny day. He lifts up his glass of water, then suddenly… there she is… She’s wearing her $200 sunshades :-), seemingly poised, not flaunting herself, her natural beauty shines as she walks alongside the sidewalk with purpose and confidence. Her body isn’t perfect, her hair is pulled back, and at that moment the world is her stage, and she’s walking down the catwalk. He begins to pull down his sunglasses for the chance that she will notice that he’s noticing her. Then, as she draws closer and closer, she passes by without even glancing in his direction… and as soon as she came into his life, she left it. The man thinks to himself, “Maybe I should have said something to her to get her attention? … Oh well, no matter, they’re be another one coming along soon.”

Though that short story ended with a little satire, and some may not be able to identify with the exact situation, it still is a great glimpse into the mindset of many single men (as well as men who date around). Men are visual creatures. We are attracted to what we see with our eyes. It is the notion..“I see it, therefore I want it.” And, what do most men find physically attractive in women? It varies… depending on what has the strongest impact on them socially and culturally. Social media and a man’s closest relationships have the most power in labeling what he finds attractive and what he does not.

Growing up, listening to the radio, hearing songs like LL Cool J – Big Ole Butt and many other songs… seeing music videos with black women wearing tights dancing. It’s obvious why most men (especially black men) are more attracted to the features on a woman’s body.

Personally, I can find beauty in many types of women. Yet, I am attracted to women who place interest in the things in which I have interest in. Without going too much in depth in my heart, I will be transparent about what I find attractive in women. I am attracted to athletic women, one reason is because I was a collegiate athlete and I enjoy fitness. Women who don’t wear much make-up are so beautiful and natural. I’m a people-person, so I find women who love people amazing. Since I grew up on a farm, I love animals, nature and the environment..and as I have matured as an adult, I have even acquired a taste for natural healthy foods and an ecocentric living, so I find it so interesting to share those same passions with a woman has similar tastes.

So, what does that say about my taste for women? I like athletic natural women, when it comes to physical attraction. Although, physical attraction is the first thing I see when looking at a woman, to me it is definitely NOT the most important. I believe the most important thing that men should look for when looking for a woman to love, to hold and to cherish is something that is not visible with eyes. It is something that is found in her HEART.

One of the biggest misconceptions or myths of men, is that all men are the same. ALL MEN ARE NOT THE SAME. People love to place labels on everything. It’s easy to place a label on someone, because then you can know them without really having to put any effort into getting to know who they really are, and what makes them unique.

What I’m trying to point out is that every man does not desire the same type of woman. Certain traits in a woman are more attractive than others, depending on the eye of the beholder; regardless if they are of the same race, culture, religion, or background. So if a woman isn’t getting the attention from men that she desires, what should she do? What should she think? Or, what should a man do if he can’t find the lady he’s looking for?…. Honestly, I don’t know. These are hard questions which don’t have simple answers. But, I do know this, if you show someone you really love them, and you show this love to them over a time, eventually it will be very hard for them not to notice.

In time all beauty will eventually fade, but a woman with a kind smile and a heart of gold will never lose her value – JP