The Decisions of our Young Men and Women

The ability to make good decisions is what separates those who just have the potential to be the person who they desire to be, and those who have the best opportunity to accomplish things they need to do, in order to be the person they dream to be.

I have always pondered inside of my heart the reasons why so many of our young men and women are making so many bad decisions when it comes to being sexually promiscuous, and entering into those types of relationships. Growing up, I can honestly say that I never pursued a life of dating, nor did I have a lot of opportunities to go on dates. My life consisted of basically family, basketball, school and church. My desire to be sexually active was probably last on my priority list, even though I definitely had the urge. And I didn’t grow up ignorant, or naive to the fact that a lot of my friends and other young adults my age were having sex; in many cases unprotected sex… I was just busy doing other things.

In the process of rationalizing, debating, and discussing this issue among friends, along with living life, because life is the best teacher, I discovered a truth which helped me understand that my perspective on the issue was askew. I simply realized that I wasn’t normal. I could not use my life, feelings, and experiences as a measuring tool for others to measure up to. The average person is unmindful to the type of life I’ve had to live, and why I chose to live it; nor have they placed the same amount of value upon living a life of chastity and waiting until marriage (which is seen in their decision making). Not that I grew up like some monk living in a castle; the thoughts that go through my mind are just as lustful as any other adult male, and it’s a battle I had to overcome…and that’s real! It’s obvious that basically everyone has sexual feelings for the opposite sex probably since they were age 16, and most earlier then that. It’s the way God made us.

When it comes to the decision making of our young men and women to be sexually promiscuous, I used to think that lust was at the root of the matter.  But, I have since realized that though lust plays a large role in it, it’s not what actually causes people to make the wrong decisions that may lead them on the path into the difficult lives of single mothers and fathers, or just in a lifestyle that is a fertile garden for the problems and stresses of life to grow and develop. Because everyone has issues with lust. I feel that the people who choose to make those decisions and engage sexually with one another as young adults, do so, more so because it’s more easily accessible for them to have sex; not because they have issues with lust any greater or worse than anyone else.

This is why in this day and age, living in a society where beauty and popularity is praised, it’s hard to understand what’s meaningful and valuable at a young age. When society throws so many lies at you, it’s hard to know what’s true. Beautiful girls have been complimented and flattered starting from middle school by men and teachers (which I have seen first-hand)… and they begin to use it to their advantage. Others just want to express their feelings and be loved. Ultimately, I feel it can be so hard for young people to truly understand their potential in life, and make the best decisions to propel them to work hard so to reach their dreams.

I see that the selfish person sees their decisions as only affecting themselves. People have to realize and see the value in their self. Every time I see these young people, I have compassion towards them, because I know that most of them don’t have anyone to speak wisdom into their lives, helping them discern importance and affirming their worth. Know your value, gain knowledge and wisdom on the things which are meaningful, find your purpose and self-identity.  These are just a few of the things which may help our young people make better decisions in their life. Everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone learns from them.

svg6 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...

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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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