It is 4 days until Christmas, and I feel if the worries of life, the exhaustion of work, the dissention within family members, along with the maturity which comes with being a single male in my early 30’s, and all the other intangibles that aren’t helping to make this holiday season, up until this point, a one in which I feel is centered on the essence of what Christmas means to me.
So, I step back. I ask myself, “What does Christmas really mean to me?” Does it mean glitter around a tree, or does it mean gifts and presents (I won’t be getting many of those this year), Christmas songs, or just something else that has some association with Christmas? I will say that Christmas means… to me, the time of the year when I have the chance to spend an extended amount of quality time with my whole family, and I along with my family acknowledge our gratefulness for God’s blessings. Yeah, that’s what it means to me. And, without family, I guess Christmas would just be another day that I didn’t have to work on.
Though even this past Thanksgiving, within the holiday season, didn’t fully embody my full expectations of a great holiday experience; I know that I will always try and create that spirit of love, energy, kinship, and hopeful expectations no matter my life circumstances. And, regardless of how all the reasons for not fully feeling the holiday spirit this year, factor in the equation of how I actually feel… What really matters is… I’m just not feeling this Christmas. I think I need a vacation 🙂 .