As I look back on life I sometimes wonder why certain relationships didn’t go the way I planned. How does one make decisions on who they’re going to allow into their life? Or, do our relationships just happen by chance or fate, and we truly don’t have a choice.

No one wants to make a bad decision when it comes to any life-long relationship, like choosing a spouse. But, since no one knows the future you can’t know who’s best for you, even if everything about someone looks awesome from your perspective.

For example, when a guy looks at a woman he can see if she fits what he wants. Basically, he can determine if she is someone he wants to date or if she is ‘Wifey Material’ – which some would say is an intelligent educated woman with a college degree, loves kids, and she was raised in a good family. Nevertheless, just because she may fit his prototype of what he wants or his attraction preferences, it still doesn’t mean they are compatible.

I feel no couple truly knows if they are compatible for each other, until after they’ve been together for a while and their relationship has been tested… not before. Every relationship will be tested, and many do not pass the tests of life, regardless if they stay together, separate or divorce

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I feel that this statement applies to more than just relationships, and is a good principle to understand and live by if your heart and intentions are pure.

If you want something, you first need to be able to receive what you want, then you have to have the confidence, patience, and desire it takes to go out and get it

When I first knew exactly what I wanted, and knew what it would take to get it, only then I first realized that I wasn’t settling for any woman that I felt attracted to; and that my initial attraction to a woman alone, meant that I wasn’t settling.

One thing that is very attractive to me (besides a woman’s smile), is how she interacts with me – when she can give me her whole attention, while not constantly interacting with her phone. Then I know she is satisfied just being with me.

One of the best dictators of a great relationship, is when two people are able feel comfortable in each other’s presence in an environment of silence (little noise) – like when a couple are walking together holding hands, sitting together on a beach, birdwatching at a park, or on a chair staring at the stars in the moonlight.

You can choose to love someone that you’re in a relationship with, but you can’t make someone want to be in a relationship with you. Even if I’m desperate for love.. it still takes two people to have a relationship. I believe that once I’m in a relationship with someone who loves me, and I feel like I’m desperate without her, then I know for sure that I’m not settling.