I recently heard a poem from a bold, beautiful, well-spoken and strong African-American woman on her viewpoint on relationships. In general, it just made light of the issues that come with intimate relationships and on how wisdom should be used when making decisions in it, for present-day young women.
Now the poem was called, “I will wait for you”. When initially hearing the poem, I wanted to listen to it again. It intrigued me, as I am a single 31 year old male longing just to find meaningful friendships with Christian women, so the thought of marriage is a little far fetched for me (but not too far away). I thought it was a great poem initially. Then I began to think about it… Then I thought about it again. Then, finally, I had an apostrophe, I mean an epiphany 🙂 … which has changed my past way of thought about my intentions of creating relationships with women.
As I look around me, I would say that most of my friends who I grew up with are now either: 1. Married 2. Divorced 3. Have kids, and some have a combination of all three 🙂 . That simple fact has changed me as a person. Even though I feel I have lived life with the best intentions on creating relationships with women, I know now that irregardless of the reasonable excuses I have for not creating and maintaining meaningful relationships with women, I know I have failed to be in the situation I wanted to be in, at this time in my life. And, not that I can control the past, nor am I depressed about my past, I just see it as it is. Though I now realize what I have to do in order to make my future plans in life attainable. And, if that means flirting around with 100 girls to find 1 who is willing to get to know me, then that’s what I’ll do.
I have come to the conclusion to realize that my own faults have contributed to 50% or more of all the problems I have faced, when just trying to create meaningful relationships with women I was interested in. And, that’s not managing relationships, I’m talking about just creating them. Which included failures on my part to simply successfully communicate or convey my feelings, as well as certain identity issues which bombarded me through high school and faded away in my early twenties.
You know I understand all of the problems that women have with finding a good man, especially those who search for an honorable African-American one. Just from what I see, I know most of us are of a low-income economic status, poorly educated, and don’t hardly possess thoughts close to commitment. Yet, don’t think African-American women are alone in their travesty of attaining a meaningful fulfilling relationship. I have personally realized that being a 31 yr. old male, living in my present environment, I have had to broaden my selection of women just so I can have the opportunity to meet someone who’s willing to be in a relationship with me. I now find it hard to meet a woman who’s willing to spend an hour with me at a restaurant, who isn’t divorced with children. So, now I have to say that I truly realize what Solomon was saying, when he wrote this in the book of Proverbs, chapter 30, in verse 10, “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?…”, and mentioned this statement as well, in a scripture found in the book of Proverbs, chapter 18, verse 22, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,and he receives favor from the Lord.”