Therapy is one of the hottest topics of conversation within the black professional community. It doesn’t matter who you are, your level of success, your lifestyle, your social circle – for some reason, in today’s society I’m finding more black women who I am connected with (personally & through social media) mandating that black men go to therapy. I have a simple question – Why?
Black Americans with any mental illness are less likely to seek help.
Source: CDC/NCHS, National Health Interview Survey, 2010–2013
My first impression of a therapist comes from a comedy film (What About Bob? – 1991 film starring Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss) about a mental patient who needed therapy. I still think it’s funny today.
From my personal life experience, up until maybe 10 years ago, the average adult was not encouraged to seek therapy for emotional support. The only people I knew who received some form of emotional counseling or therapy (outside of marital and spiritual counseling from the church) were primarily people who were having trouble functioning in society. For example: a young adult with behavior issues, a single mother who needed assistance, or an adult with a diagnosed mental illness.
What was the spark that ignited the flame in society so that therapy is encouraged for everyone… including children and adults? The reality is… I don’t know for a fact. But, I do have my own opinions and in this blog I will be transparent about them.
In life… not all statements require a response. Likewise, not all questions require an answer.
This morning when I woke up, a little earlier than usual as I slept really well last night, I started scrolling through social media on a Christian Facebook group. I wanted to get a little positive morning inspiration. I scrolled upon a post that read this:
MEN!!!!!!!
Facebook post from a woman in a majorly Black Christian professional group
Please Make that Therapist appointment TODAY!!!!
Go get Good counsel. Prayer is Great. Faith w/o action… is dead. Knowing you’re not okay and seeking Help is STRENGTH IN your leadership. Please and Thank You from PROUD Possible Future wives everywhere.
YOU GOT THIS!
Please don’t let pride kill you from the inside out.
Although I believe the writer of this post had good intentions, I honestly feel women shouldn’t pressure men into going to therapy. Nor should men be shamed for not going. In general, I would assume those who seek out therapy are more likely to benefit from it more than those who are pressured to go.
Why Are Women Advocating For Men To Seek Therapy?
Studies show that women are twice as likely to suffer from depression as men. And, studies also show that depression often is linked to other mental health conditions like anxiety, eating disorders, drug use, etc. All of this show that women are more likely to suffer from mental health issues. Research has identified many reasons why this is the case, with reasons primarily based upon hormonal biological differences.
Women were more likely than men to have received any treatment (medication, counseling, or therapy) for their mental health, consistent with the higher prevalence of common mental health conditions, such as anxiety and depression, seen among women as well as an increased willingness to seek mental health care.
Source: CDC/NCHS, Mental Health Treatment, 2019
There are many women who receive real benefits from therapy to help cope with their feelings of depression and anxiety.
I feel there are cases where women who have benefited from therapy, also want to diagnose others; so they don’t feel like it’s something wrong with them alone. So, maybe when a woman advocates for men to receive therapy it is actually a form of therapy. Because it can potentially raise their self-esteem to believe everyone needs therapy. Maybe. I don’t know.
I feel it could also be because some women want a perfect man.
I heard a statement a few months ago by an author and noteworthy college professor on a podcast where he was talking about dating and the disconnect between men and women’s values. He essentially said that women today do not value imperfect men.
You can’t tell women to lower their expectations, but this is the reality: When you ask a man if you could have a woman who had 80% of everything you wanted, 75% say “Yeah. I’m on board.” When you say to a woman, a man has 80% of what you want, 75% say, “That’s not enough.” But even look at the media. What does the media tell a woman to do? “He didn’t open your door? He’s not nice to his parent? Walk right out on that man!” Like it’s literally every piece of media that is like, “You don’t need him! You’re a strong, independent woman. Pull the ripcord. You’re out!” The basic communication around this is that “You are a strong, independent, powerful woman that is wonderful, and quite frankly, you don’t need the imperfect man.”
Scott Galloway – American orator, NYU professor
Marriage and Family trends in the Black community
There is a great divide when it comes to Black Americans. Studies show that our community has lower marriage rates, higher rates of divorce and single-parent households, and later ages for marriage compared to other racial groups. These are facts.
The Black American family is in a crisis. There are many factors that contribute to this crisis, such as: theories around economic disparity, incarcerated black men, systematic racism, etc. Additionally, another study suggests Black men and women are overrepresented in jobs that have nonstandard hours of employment… which greatly affects our ability as a community to provide a traditional stable environment for our households.
What this tells me is what I already know… many Black professionals do not live in a traditional family structure. Some rebel against the notion of a traditional family household, because they’ve never seen it. While others long for it, but for whatever reason can’t achieve it.
Psych Medications | The power of the Pharmaceutical industry
I can’t ignore how the use of psychotropic and psychiatric medications have increased over the last 10 years, especially during the pandemic. And, the fact that low-income people can use Medicaid to get mental health drugs further show that money is being made because of mental health issues. Studies show that Medicaid is the nation’s largest funding source of mental health treatment.
Simply put… more doctors are diagnosing mental health conditions -> prescribing drugs for those conditions -> and the pharmaceutical industry is selling drugs to children and adults to help people cope. Money. More money. More money.
In conclusion, I believe therapy and professional counseling is beneficial… especially for those who need it. However, I certainly do not feel every man needs a therapist. Nor do I feel every woman needs therapy. Nor do I feel going to church is a cure for mental health issues.
Studies show that Black Americans are more likely than other ethnicities to report feelings of “sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, or that everything is an effort all or most of the time.”
I feel depressed sometimes. I feel hopeless sometimes. Then, I grab a ladder… and get over it. What gives me hope is seeing my son smile. It’s going to the gym, working out, and playing basketball. I get hope by serving others. I feel purpose when I give and receive love from my friends and family.
I believe every person should do what’s best for them when seeking professional help regarding their mental health without being judged or shamed for their decision.
Jason's Journal 