While scrolling through my Instagram feed, I saw a beautiful woman smiling and doing something interesting, so I clicked on the video. She was wearing a blue dress. Blue is my favorite color 🙂 .
After clicking on her profile, I found out her name is Audrina Bigos and she’s a CBS news anchor in Chicago. The first thing that popped into my mind was that, “She’s beautiful, she’s talented, she’s smart… but she’ll never be Oprah.” Intuitively, my thoughts did not diminish her, but more so addressed the unspoken desire of every African-American woman in media who is strongly pursing success and opportunity… and knowing Oprah is the model, especially for any woman in Chicago.
A lot of us want so much out of life. Success. Fame. Praise. Attention. It’s human nature to see something attractive and desire it. However, not everything attractive or desirable is worth pursuing. Essentially, not everything is meant for me, so I shouldn’t expect to achieve the same reward for the same effort… because what I do receive is what was meant for me at that moment in time, which is always good enough.
I know that’s hard to take in.
There are so many beautiful intelligent talented female African-American news anchors across the country. Some may have been given opportunities for whatever reasons and I’m sure others put in a lot of work to be where they are. But, I’m sure of this… less than 1% of them will even achieve 5% of the success of Oprah Winfrey, financially or career-wise.
Does that make them any better or worse than Oprah? By all means no! Whatever measure of success they receive in life will not make them a failure, because they’ve already been blessed with the opportunity they have. Which should make them feel accomplished and successful.
Growing up I loved basketball. I played and practiced all day and night. I remember playing in gyms with no air conditioning and sweating so profusely that I could wring my shirt as if it had been placed in a bucket of water. I’ve even played against and with NBA professional basketball athletes.
Though I love the game of basketball, and I’ve even achieved a small level of success in it, I never once imagined I would achieve 1% of the success of a Michael Jordan, or even the average NBA player. And, it wasn’t because of my lack of intelligence, work ethic or talent. It was mainly because I had little to no support to help me make the best decisions regarding my life and physical health. As there are so many external factors which play a part in outcomes when attempting to accomplish anything.
In my opinion, I find that a lot of people have difficulty understanding their true value. If you don’t know your true value, then on your bad days you will think to yourself, “I’m not good enough.”
When your hopes and aspirations align with your reality you will know who you are all the time. I try not to ever use someone else’s life as a measuring stick for my life. Because what’s for them, isn’t always for me.
Watching Audrina’s Instagram video, all I could think about was the pressure she must face as a female African-American news anchor in Chicago. The pressure of being the next Oprah. Just like the pressure felt by every shooting guard at North Carolina. As everyone wants to see the next Michael Jordan.
You are the first person to be you.
Success is often measured by wealth or praise. I feel real success is measured by the amount of sacrifices a person makes in pursuit of a worthy dream. Take the time to identify the things you’re passionate about. Think about what you’re willing to sacrifice to pursue it. And just be who God designed you to be.
Many of our young people aren’t taught to love themselves. They need to know and understand what makes them special. Which is why we see so many imitating qualities from others (people who they feel are special) so they can feel special.
I feel every person is special in their own unique way. We all have something special to offer humanity. God made us so that we all have a different fingerprint. When you know you’re special, you will begin to live with an attitude of true confidence and wisdom. You won’t live like an actor that puts on a false ego and wardrobe, only to take it off that night.
You will learn from your mistakes and not be judged by them… and soon your insecurities will diminish.
I pray everyone lives their best life.