Never Date on Potential

Life is about learning. The last couple of dating experiences has taught me something new about the type of women I should be pursuing, and this type of wisdom is not for everyone. I would say it is only for those who are being intentional about dating.

Never date based upon potential.

Essentially, I feel you should never date someone based upon their future potential. At a certain point in life, people are who they are… and it’s unwise to assume a person will become someone they are not. No matter their dreams or plans.

When you date with purpose, as I am… I’m searching for a woman with specific qualities so we are the best match for each other. In my opinion, when I date with purpose I have a greater respect for the woman I’m pursuing, because I’m not just thinking about what I want. I consider who she is, what she wants, why she’s attracted to me and how we both fit in each other’s lives.

So, the last few dates I’ve been on have been horrible. I can sit and laugh about it now. But, truly they have been horrific. It’s like in Coming to America when Prince Akeem went to nightclubs in Queens as he was looking for a wife. šŸ™‚ I’ll never forget that line, “Is it my imagination, or does every woman in New York have a severe emotional problem?” (link)

I came home the other night, after going on one of the worst dates of my life, I thought about a statement a friend of mine told me. He told me, “Jason, you need to aim higher bro. You’re aiming too low in the type of women you’re dating.” I believe he was telling me in his own way, to not waste time dating women based upon their potential.

At my age, people are who they are. If they don’t like being healthy, then they’re not going to start now. If they are always negative and don’t like to hug people or smile, then they aren’t going to start now.

All to say, don’t consider dating anyone in hope they become who they currently are not.

svg3 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...


  • Why: no sex please, we are British?

    September 6, 2021 at 3:18 am

    Very true Jason.

    If we like someone, it’s very easy to see their potential, and then be a kind of nurturer, like a parent, willing them on to be their better self, be it dieting, exercising or pursuing a different job. A fixer of them. The relationship either works out and everything is wonderful, or once they are ‘healed’ and are their new improved self, they then move on to and be with someone else.

    If this recent date was the worst you’ve ever had, you know they can only get better from now on!


    • Jason

      September 6, 2021 at 11:35 pm

      You’re right lol! It can only get better.
      I love that positive energy.


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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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