Sunday afternoons

When you think of a Sunday afternoon, what does that mean to you? I feel every day has a general feeling, as it brings a certain energy to it.

Mondays – the first day of the work week. It’s probably regarded as the least liked day of the week. Monday is the day where any freedom you had on the weekend is over. So, it’s generally feels like a sluggish day and everything you do feels like it’s forced.

Tuesdays and Wednesdays – both of these days can be interchangeable. There might be some type of meeting or event that you’re looking forward to. Normally I’m just cruising on these days, because they feel so long.

Thursdays – the weekend is near and everyone knows it. It’s generally a optimistic day. You might have lunch with a friend, or found something cool to get into that night, or you are making plans for what you’re going to do Friday night or Saturday.

Friday – thank God it’s Friday!! Friday nights are the best. It is a night of complete freedom. What else can I say? It’s such a great day, people have written songs about it :).

Saturday and Sunday – for me these are days where I have always felt the need to spend time with my family/friends. Two days dedicated for relationship building. I feel like the weekend was made to allow us to rest, reflect on life, do needed chores, and to allow extra time so that we can spend it with those we love.

During a general week, I usually don’t feel alone. It’s on the weekends, especially on Sunday afternoons, where my feelings are accentuated. If I’m happy, then I’m really happy… if I’m lonely, then I’m really lonely. After leaving church this Sunday afternoon and eating lunch at the bar of a restaurant by myself, I began to feel alone. I thought to myself, all of my close friends are either married with children or live in other states, my girlfriend lives in another state, my brother is in another state with his wife, and my family/friends are busy.

My love language is quality time. So, loneliness has been a big issue throughout my life. I’ve had to really deal with depression and feeling alone. There have been times where I was surrounded by people who knew me, but I still felt so alone in the midst of all of them. My heart goes out to people who deal with loneliness. It’s like an inner sadness inexpressible by mere words. I felt like I was lacking something… like a car without gas, a shoe without strings, a building without doors, a computer without a screen, like a man without someone to love.

I guess I need to go buy a dog :).

I believe loneliness is ultimately a sign of emptiness in my life/spirit that I need to fill with something. So now I’m here at my local coffee house reading, studying for my class, exercising my brain and writing in my journal… and the feeling has passed. Just as Sunday afternoon has now passed, as it is now Sunday evening.

Honestly since high school, I’ve always had a lot of friends, but very few people who respected my friendship and also took the time to invest in my life. Over time I’ve learned to lower my expectations from friends and love them for who they are.

Time stops for no man. Pursue happiness. Invest in love and follow your heart.