Why It’ll Never Be Enough

There is a time/place where clarity resides… it’s a place that is as real as the wooden chair that I’m currently sitting on. It’s not easy to find, because it’s not located on your usual routine travels along the road map of your normal lifestyle.

I normally find clarity when my mind is at peace. Tonight as I sit in this coffee shop studying for a course in Business Analytics, for some odd reason I received a revelation on why many people can never be satisfied (whether it’s your friends, family, or boss)… and, the futility of trying to please them.

What am I trying to prove in life? Who am I trying to prove it to?

In my life, I have spent a lot of time and effort trying to please my parents. I have made life changing decisions based upon their thoughts and approval. Not that they are the worst parents nor am I the best son. But, there is a time when you can’t trust other people with your life, and you will be the only person who has your best interests in mind.

Just because someone loves you, it doesn’t mean that they are satisfied with you or think you are enough. We all measure each other according to the measuring stick of the expectations we have set for them. So when they fall below our expectations… at that time, they are not good enough.

I could give someone all I have to give, but what if they expect more from me? If I don’t meet their expectations they will never be satisfied with who I am, regardless of what I give, because I’ll never be enough for them.

That’s why we can’t seek approval or applause every time we do something. You have to know within yourself who you are. Before you need to prove something to anyone, you need to set high expectations of yourself, and prove yourself that you are enough!

Recently, I read an interview Will Smith had with Esquire magazine. He said that when he was 15 his girlfriend cheated on him, and it hurt him so bad that he thought that if he was number one in everything he did, no woman would ever cheat on him.

You know that pain inspired him to be great. But, guess what? Simply being great wasn’t good enough.

As he’s gotten older, he now has a different perspective on life. He said this in the interview…

It’s excruciating. I always thought there was some place I was going, that there was some success or some achievement or some box-office number that was going to fill the hole. And what I realize is that life is a hole. It’s a process of continually trying to find and reinvent myself. I’m the type of person who is always going to be somewhat dissatisfied with myself. I’m never going to be smart enough. I’m never going to be a good enough father. I’m never going to be a good enough husband. I’m never going to be a good enough actor for myself. I just never will be, and I have to get comfortable with waking up every day and trying to move some little increment closer to the person I have always dreamed of being.

Nothing you can achieve will ever be enough… I personally feel only God’s love can fill the gaping hole in our hearts. And, through receiving His love and loving others can we truly be fulfilled in life.

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Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...

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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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