Communication and Attraction

As I’m beginning my preliminary routine before I get in bed, to prepare myself to go to sleep, a thought entered my mind and I ask myself this question which I still have no answer to…, “Why am I still 33 and single?” It’s one of those questions that you wish you knew, but then again, you might not want to know the true answer. Because most likely, regardless of who was at fault in past relationships, results of poor decisions or life’s unforeseen circumstances… I still know that a part of the answer is because of who I am as a person. Which could be personal issues with vanity, character flaws, social personality uniqueness, or maybe it’s that I could be attracted to wrong type of women.

Last week, as I was chatting with a girl that I talk with on occasion… we were having a conversation where she got in touch with me to talk about her feelings, she called me “arrogant” or “egotistical” for no reason, as I was giving her my time where I was listening to her, trying to encourage her, give her some wisdom, and speak into her life. Though I forgive her, she ticked me off! After she sent me that text message, I looked back and I thought to myself, “What was it that made me attracted to this girl to even speak to her in the first place? Though I have a lot of female friends, and a lot of people I know in general; nonetheless, am I so desperate for female attention that I seek out relationships with women who demean me?” The reality is… I have the opportunity, the social cultural diversity, the intelligence, and the personality to talk to a lot of different women. And, I don’t have issues finding women who are attracted to me. All in all, I have my own theories about my personal life and reasons behind my single life up until present time.

I know that I’m not the only person who notices that our current generation of young people are marrying less and are waiting longer to even start relationships. I remember in my teenage years they referred to us as Generation X, now I’m hearing people refer to young adults as Generation Y. I know that cultural events, political experiences, economic issues, and new technology has changed our generation’s way in which we communicate and think about our future and relationships. I feel that though our generation is more intelligent, I definitely feel this generation is more selfish and lack general communication skills.

Generation Y has so many issues that discredit the formation of meaningful relationships. There are more fatherless families. More people live life above their means financially. And, as more women look not to marry, and seek to wait to have kids until they are economically prepared for the cost, because they are more financially savvy (and that’s not a bad thing), I fear that our generation in a sense has lost the ability to feel and give real love. I even feel that popular music and the social media is trying to substitute love for sex, yet they are too completely different things. Where’s the love?

Though I am a part of Generation Y and this hipster culture… as we have begun to substitute text messaging and emailing for long telephone calls and quality time, I still have not lost the desire to engage in meaningful conversations. All I need to know now is, what is my type… everyone has a type of person they are attracted to, and I need to figure that out and get on with life.

svg5 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...

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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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