Loneliness and Indifference

A few nights ago, I entered into a conversation that really brought my attention towards my feelings about my own attitude towards women. I ended up spending much of the night with one of my friends talking about women. However, it wasn’t just a normal vain conversation on women… this time I really focused on helping him to see how women see him, so to understand how he naturally comes across to women. Overall, I was trying to help him build confidence in himself, so that he can get the attention of a women he finds attractive; then hopefully he’ll be able to change his Facebook status from “single” to “in a relationship“. 🙂

All of sudden, I began to think to myself about my current relationship status, which by the way is “single“. I thought to myself, “…I’m talking to him about women, and I’m single just like he is!”

In that conversation my intention was to try to give him some wisdom on creating relationships, and school him on the do’s and don’t’s that go along with just simply starting natural conversation with a woman he’s interested in. While doing it all in a way that would allow women to see him as a “lover”, and get him out of the FRIEND zone in his relationships with women.. because once you’re in the friend zone in a woman’s mind, it can be like a black hole and, it’s almost impossible to get out! 🙂 And, though it was my intention to speak into his life, my words also spoke into my life. Because, I’m looking to find someone special in my life as well, and I know she’s somewhere out there over the rainbow. 🙂

The conversation really showed me a big reason why I’m not dating right now… I feel that one of the reasons I’m alone is because I have been dis-acknowledging my own true feelings of loneliness, which I covered up in my heart with a cloak of feelings of indifference…  That night, though I was talking to my friend about his current woes in the complicated issues involving his relationship status, in a way the conversation brought to light some feelings of my own that needed to be dealt with.

As I see more of my friends around me who are dating these beautiful women… I can’t help but feel that I have neglected my own feelings and desire for intimate companionship. I may even start back listening to R&B music again.. LOL! Get Prince, Luther, and Marvin back in the playlist. For me, just listening to the lyrics of classic R&B is almost like taking a Rossetta Stone course on Love Language, and I know I need to broaden my speech vocabulary and fine tune my mouth piece if I want the attention of a beautiful woman that thousands of other guys are flirting with each and everyday. And, maybe in a few weeks I’ll be able to change my relationship status on FaceBook as well 🙂 .

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Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...

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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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