I would say one of my favorite topics to talk or write about is love and relationships. Christmas is just a few days away, so I’m watching romantic movies 🙂 . I did not expect to read that a well known Christian couple filed for divorce earlier this week. Then I saw some rumors about Steph and Ayesha Curry’s marriage (which I believe are false). Plus, I’m going through my own dating problems… it all just makes me question if people still believe in real love.
Evangelist and Hollywood film producer Devon Franklin and actress Meagan Good recently filed for divorce. For years they were the model couple, especially in the Christian community. They even co-wrote a NY Times bestselling book called “The Wait” in which they share their testimony to encourage young couples to do what they did… and wait to marry before having sex.
It’s tough on these streets. Divorce is stressful.
I know. After going through a divorce and now being healed from the inner shame and emotional pain caused by it, I will forever say that I do not wish divorce upon anyone. The emotional stress caused by simply arguing about your private relationship publicly in a courtroom is a lot. Let’s don’t even mention how divorce can impact your finances, personal relationships, and life in general.
Then you are subject to a legal judgment by a judge who doesn’t care about you. On top of that, paying thousands of dollars for lawyers and court fees. Why? All because two people can’t come to an agreement.
Why did they break up? They seemingly have everything.
As of right now, Devon and Meagan released similar posts on Instagram as a way to acknowledge their plan to divorce. In the post, it read “There’s no one at fault…”. It was a smart way to disguise the truth so to protect both of their career interests and public persona. We all know people don’t divorce because they are happy. Someone either did or didn’t do something.
Who truly knows why they broke up? I don’t want to speculate or offer my opinion due to my genuine best wishes for them both.
Here is what ruffles my feathers… for years they chose to sell their marriage to the world as a “how-to guide” for single Christians like me to model after.
Now I learn their marriage failed. And, I read how they insisted no one was at fault. I feel neither one of them want to be held accountable for their actions (or inability to act). In my opinion someone has to at least be at fault for not trying to make it work, especially when they have so many resources at their fingertips. I felt hustled. I felt like they hustled a lot of people like me.
Getting married isn’t easy… staying married is even harder.
How many famous black couples have the type of marriage where young adults look at and say, “I want a marriage like theirs.”, maybe 5 or 6? It’s honestly few marriages I admire or respect. I would say Will and Jada Smith & Russel Wilson and Ciara are at the top when thinking of a celebrity black couple. I would place Steph and Ayesha Curry’s marriage below them.
I truly respect Will and Jada’s marriage. They have been through a lot. The public scrutiny from the “entanglement” issue, being widely recognized as swingers, then discussing their personal issues on Red Table Talk (TV show). For years their marriage, parental skills and personal life have been harshly criticized. Many people, if placed in their shoes would have thrown in the towel… but, somehow they found ways to stick together. And, that’s what it’s all about.
As a young teen, one of my favorite music artists was a R&B quartet called Jodeci. I loved their style. I am now reminded of lyrics found in the chorus of a popular love song they recorded.
Will you believe in love and the promise that it gives?Jodeci – Love U 4 Life
I wanna love U 4 life, ’cause your love is why I live.
Love alone isn’t enough to make a real relationship stand the test of time.
So what are the top reasons why couples fight or problems exist in marriage? Sex and money. Some studies say, women value sex more than money, while others say different. But, everyone knows problems will arise when a couple isn’t meeting each others sexual needs or if they aren’t financially secure.
Personally, the primary issues I presently face in my pursuit of love are all due to a lack of time & energy. Building a new relationship requires a lot of time & energy. Talking on the phone, planning and going on dates, putting yourself in the position to meet certain women… all these things require me to make sacrifices.
I willingly make these sacrifices because I know what I want. I know what type of woman I want to marry. It is natural to sacrifice for the things you value. I believe in love. I want a woman who shares this belief.