My Date on Tinder

Every once in a while when I feel lonely I download Tinder and create an account in an attempt to get some female attention. Then after a few days I usually delete it, because just looking at the app on my phone just irritates me for some reason. Anyway, a few weeks ago I went on a date with someone I matched up with on Tinder. To those who don’t know. Tinder is a dating app on your smartphone. It’s sort of like eHarmony or Dating now-a-days isn’t like it was in the old days. Just meeting someone you’re attracted to in person and going out is very rare.

Well when I scrolled over her page, I saw a young lady who smiled, which I like. She had a few images of her in various places, meaning she’s pretty well rounded. Her pictures showed her full body, meaning she was comfortable with her appearance and I shouldn’t expect to meet someone who looked totally different in person (if we did ever meet up). And, her bio on her profile basically let me know that she was intelligent and cool. So… I clicked “like”. The only thing was I would’ve never thought that she would have already clicked “like” on my page, especially since I just downloaded the app a few days prior.

So… being the gentleman I can be, I reached out to her and she replied the next day. We chatted for a bit and we eventually exchanged numbers. The next day I texted her just to see how she was doing. And, she invited me to hang out with her and her friends at a local bar. I honestly wasn’t nervous with meeting her. You know if she lied on her profile, or if she was an overweight transsexual or just some weird person, I knew that I could handle myself. Plus I was a little optimistic about getting out of the house to do anything.

The only thing that I was worried about was the fact that she was white and though I’m not obliged to dating outside my race, I still was a little nervous. Anyway, so I meet her and we smiled at each other. She introduced me to her friends and we played darts for a while at the bar. Everything seemed cool. I bought a glass of wine and we were just chilling. Then her friends stated that they were going to leave, and I was cool with leaving, but she wanted to stay so I stayed. We ended up having a very interesting conversation. I still remember her telling me about some interesting things about her career.

Then after a while of small talk, I asked her, “What about me was attractive to you?” She said, “I don’t date white men. You were tall dark and handsome. And, you seemed harmless enough.” When she said that, I smiled outwardly. But in my heart I frowned. Because in that moment I realized that all she wanted was to have a good time with me, that night. I felt like a prostitute, instead of a friend or colleague. And, I understood the true nature of our relationship… which was just physical attraction.

I ended up dropping her off at home, and I’ve never spoken to her again. It made me realize just because you are attracted to someone doesn’t mean they want what you want. And, it’s wise to understand the nature of any relationship you’re in… and I’m always learning to be realistic about my expectations. All in all, I’m happy to have went on the date just to experience it. It’s just another story to write in my journal. And, I deleted my Tinder account again btw 🙂 .

svg5 min read

Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...


  • academichustler1975

    August 31, 2016 at 12:45 am

    Tinder is for hookups after I experienced my share of inappropriate messages. I enjoyed your experience…you will meet someone that will make you forget that night and they will be worth it.

  • Jing Sebastian

    August 31, 2016 at 6:53 am

    Hmmm…Nice try. Have had a number of virtual friends. It’s rewarding meeting like-minded people online, sharing sensible thoughts about life and living. And they stay as friends for years without romantic inklings. 🙂
    Thanks for sharing your date. 🙂

    • jason

      August 31, 2016 at 10:26 am

      That’s cool. I don’t think it’s anything wrong with meeting people online, I chat/post/message through Facebook with people I don’t really know personally all the time. The lady I met on the date was actually cool, it’s just my intentions and expectations were different.

      • Jing Sebastian

        September 1, 2016 at 2:20 pm

        Intentions. Expectations. Standards. 🙂

  • logoffforlove

    October 10, 2016 at 1:35 am

    Loved reading about your insights on Tinder! The dating culture has drastically changed over the years, where we no longer meet organically, and rely on online dating sites/apps such as Tinder. Do you think that if you had met the smiley girl in person, rather than via Tinder, there would never have been opposing intentions/expectations? Over at our blog, we discuss why we think Tinder is not fostering relationships, rather, we believe that it is hindering the opportunity for genuine connection!
    Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

    • jason

      October 10, 2016 at 9:58 am

      Hmmm… interesting question. I don’t know honestly. I probably would have never approached her. Many times online profiles are false identities/personas, and the person on the profile doesn’t really exist


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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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