I love being around my closest friends, I value the time I spend with my best of friends.  Since it is rare that I’m around people who are transparent, when I do spend time with my friends and feel the energy that comes about when we confront each other honestly and intelligently, while discussing matters of the heart, I just love it.  I’m so tired of being around people who want relationships, yet they withhold 95% of who they are and call me a ‘friend’, when probably their barber or beautician knows them better than I do.  I used to lie to myself and say that, “I don’t care”; well, I’m tired of lying to myself, I do care, and I feel God has placed this care inside my heart.  I want all of my relationships to be meaningful, to where both parties benefit from the other’s presence, “Iron sharpens iron”.

Looking into a person’s eyes and knowing their name, I believe is so important in any type of relationship, whether if I’m talking to someone directly, or in simple causal cordial greetings.  When you shake a person’s hand and look them into their eyes, something occurs; and that greeting coupled along with a smile, a listening ear, along with some well-spoken sincere words, will make a huge difference in how effective others receive you, when engaging in any type of real life communication.

Can you look into the eyes of someone else and be confident in who you are?  I’m not talking about staring someone down, like you’re in a dual of eye contact waiting to see who’s going to blink first.  But, simply feeling comfortable about looking people in their eyes, no matter who they are.  I know I’m not yet confident enough, but I’m getting there.  And in my pursuit to be a better communicator, I wish to correct this one flaw of my rich abundance of flaws, most of which I yet to recognize.

At times I find myself looking away when others place me in their line of sight.  Or, when older adults talk with me, sometimes I find myself looking down to show my submission, and this is because in my subconscious I feel I am not equal with them, which is a feeling I should never feel.  And, I hate it when I’m looking at someone, and they recognize that I’m looking at them, and as our eyes meet for that split second… I find myself turning away.  Not that I want to stare people down with intimidation, I believe that I as well as everyone should be confident and sure enough to have eye contact in all interaction, without having awkward feelings of timidity or hesitancy.

I respect others when they give me their full attention, as I speak to them or even wave at them.  What if whenever you looked at someone with a smile, they ignored you?  That would be very disrespectful, at least I would feel that way.  And, I feel it is disrespectful to talk to someone and not give them your full attention, by not looking into their eyes, or ignore someone and withhold your love from them because your time and energy is just too valuable to where you can’t just acknowledge their presence.  That’s not love.  If I can begin to start looking more people in their eyes while engaging in communication, along with remembering people’s names, I believe God will move me to the next level in having positive relationships and being a better communicator and leader.

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Jason Perry

I'm a black man with Christian values. A father to my son, a friend to those who desire my friendship, a lover of life and even more...

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This is my journal, my journey, and my perspective in life – JP

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