Although I planned to go to the gym or sports bar tonight, as I felt the need to socialize, release some energy and get out of my house… I chose to stay home. Tonight, as I sit alone in silence I’m reminded Father’s day is this upcoming Sunday. So, why not learn a little history about Father’s day and write a blog. 🙂
To me, Father’s day never felt like a “real” holiday. As it’s not really commercialized or celebrated in the same manner as Mother’s day. Even my own father never seemed to care about celebrating Father’s day, or any holiday for that matter outside of Christmas and Thanksgiving… and the Sundays we went to church. I assumed Father’s day was a result of the pressure by society due to some sort of “celebrative parental equality” because we all view Mother’s day almost like a religious holiday.
A Little History Behind Father’s Day
Mother’s day was officially declared an American national holiday in 1914 by then President Woodrow Wilson. History tells us there were multiple noted gatherings and events in the late 1800s and early 1900s, created by men and women in both England and America, that were designated specifically for celebrating mothers and motherhood.
About 60 years later, President Nixon declared Father’s day an American national holiday. History tells us the state of Washington officially celebrated Father’s day in 1910. Although there were several attempts to make it a national holiday in the years after… they all failed. However, after the Great Depression, World War II, and around the end of the Vietnam War, there was a specific need to help boost the self-esteem of men who’d lost their jobs and/or returned from war, and attempt to replicate the commercial success of Mother’s day… which ultimately led to the official national declaration of Father’s day in 1972.
My Experiences As A Father
I’ll never forget the day my son was born. However, when I first learned I could be a father… I wasn’t that happy to say it at best. As I never imagined that I would have a child outside of wedlock. During the months up until his birth, I worked very hard to build a relationship with his mother, attend doctor’s visits, support his mother and her family, etc… I did everything I could so to make his life beautiful.
The day my son was born I became a man in my own eyes.
I always felt the role of a father was directly tied to the role of a husband, as I didn’t look at parental roles outside of the family unit (father, mother & child). However, after my relationship with his mother dissolved… I was forced to psychologically redefine my interpretation of fatherhood when I chose to accept the role of a single parent.
A little over a year after my son was born, I was granted full custody and became a single father. Being a single parent of a young child at 39, and working full-time was difficult. I appreciate my mom for helping me out a lot. Despite everything going on at the time… the love I had for my son and the joy I felt every time I saw his smile, gave me the strength I needed in order to walk through the great chaos which occurred following the end of my relationship with his mother.
From that time until now, I’m the only man I know who is a single father with full custody of a young child. So my perspective of being a father is much different from the average father.
In a nation where 7 out of every 10 Black children are born into single parent households, I sometimes find myself feeling depressed that my choices caused my son to be a part of this statistic. I pray that God spreads love & favor over my son like a blanket. Supernaturally gives him everything he needs in order to reach his full potential and God-given purpose.
Even though I failed at being a husband… despite my heartfelt attempts with my son’s mother… I feel like I succeed everyday as a single father. In my opinion, Father’s day is just another day I’m reminded of God’s blessings. Despite everything… I’m blessed to be a father.
I wish a happy Father’s day to all the fathers in the world who love their children and provide for their families. I’m proud of you.
A father’s treasures are not riches, but moments with his children.
Anonymous
Jason's Journal 