Lately I’ve been thinking about family and what it means to me. In the Christian church we oftentimes refer to each other with family terminology (father, mother, brother, sister)… as a sign of love and/or honor, as if all Christians are a real family. I also think of my relationships within my immediate and extended family. I truly believe the devil is trying to use whatever means necessary to disrupt or destroy the nuclear family, especially in the black community.
I believe there is a spiritual war going on that is trying to dismantle families and corrupt the institution of marriage. This has placed families in the black community in a crisis. Who can ignore the gender role reversal that has become so evident in the black community? Even the distinguished Bishop T.D. Jakes said in a sermon, “We are raising up women to be men.”
The African-American community is suffering more than any other ethnic group. The rates of abortions, death, divorce, domestic violence, unemployment, unplanned pregnancies, etc. are all higher in the black community. We also don’t have the same opportunities and resources as other communities.
Being a single man and dating, I’ve had so many conversations with women who regularly go to therapy as they struggle to cope with anxiety and stress. I believe there are so many adults (men & women) who are unhappy with life, unhealthy, uninspired, and are struggling to find purpose outside of their own vanity and selfish ambitions.
A few days ago I was able to watch a podcast with Candace Owens and Judge Joe Brown. It was an interesting conversation. Hearing the 77-year-old Judge Joe Brown rant and speak on various topics reminded me of when I used to converse with my Uncle Sonny. I was saddened by that memory, as he passed a little over a decade ago.
After I finished listening to the podcast I received a revelation. The ability to pass on wealth (knowledge or resources) from generation-to-generation is so important. Judge Joe Brown was spreading his wealth of knowledge.
I used to believe the primary reason why many in the black community do not choose to marry, or choose to marry and have planned pregnancies later in life was purely economic. As obviously no one wants to struggle financially in life, and obviously many of the young men in the black community are uneducated and financially unstable.
However, I now believe there has to be some kind of agenda which was put in place by powerful groups to intentionally create disorganization, dissention, and distrust within black families and our community. As they need to keep our community poor and dependent upon them, so to preserve their prominence. And, the more truth, family stability and support which is passed through generations, the more independent and powerful we become as a community.
Peace of mind and clarity of thought are so important, especially when making any decision. I know I’ve made my share of bad decisions, especially regarding relationships. When you live in a stressful environment, and media is warping your perspective, or you’re ignorant of the truth… it’s literally impossible to make good decisions.
I know there are a lot of people in my community who have difficulty communicating their thoughts, who regularly participate in meaningless activities, who are indifferent towards others and isolate themselves, who are impulsive, who have low self-esteem, and are dependent upon others. I believe therapy is helpful and very necessary in some cases. However, I believe therapy should never be a substitute for spiritual wisdom and family support.
For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. [James 3:16-18 NASB]
Prince made this statement years ago in an awards ceremony speech. Even though he was speaking about the internet, he expressed the importance of not allowing the media to control your mind.
One thing I wanted to say is, don’t be fooled by the internet. It’s cool to get on the computer, but don’t let the computer get on you. It’s cool to use the computer, don’t let the computer use you. Y’all saw The Matrix. There’s a war going on. The battlefield’s in the mind. And the prize is the soul. So just be careful. Be very careful. Thank you.
Let’s guard our minds and our feelings. Yes, marriages and relationships require sacrifice, but it shouldn’t feel like emotional slavery. Where there is genuine love, there should be freedom. To me, family essentially means a group of people who I know love me unconditionally, support me, and care about me.
We need leaders in the black community who aren’t selfish, who practice excellence, and truly care about family. I’m trying my best to be that type of leader.
Jason's Journal 