The maturer you become, the more able you are to acknowledge your flaws, or better yet imperfections, while also finding a way to embrace them knowing that they are a part of who you are. In life, who you are… meaning your character, your beliefs, your values, your expectations, the way you look, your personality, your likes and dislikes, your life experience, how you identify yourself, where you live, where and how you were raised… all these things will ultimately factor in to better explain who you are. And, who I am is one of the main reasons why I’m still single.
I honestly could write a book about me (which I probably will do at some point), but I’m still growing, living life, and learning about myself. Who I am right now is not the finished completed version of me. Throughout my life, I have been attracted to all sorts of women. For a long time, I only paid attention to women who I considered sexually attractive, Christian, smart, and who smiled at me. I believe I overlooked many women who I could’ve developed relationships with, with some effort. There were missed opportunities simply because I didn’t recognize the value of a good woman. I could only see the woman who was in front of me at that specific moment, and I was ignorant of her true worth and incapable of seeing who she could potentially become.
Another big reason why I’m still single is because of my lack of confidence. Now, I will explain this in depth. I’ve always been courageous and charismatic, to where I would walk up and speak to any woman. But, even though I knew that I was tall, dark, and handsome, creative, intelligent, and I know that many women probably would be attracted to someone “like” me… but, I honestly didn’t feel in my heart that they wanted to be with me. At my core, I probably identify more with the guy who is always stuck in the friend zone with women, than the guy who gets all the girls. Plus, I never really pursued women until recently. I didn’t even go out to social parties, bars, and events until my 30’s. I also doubt myself at times, due to my inexperience in dating, social awkwardness of being too spiritual at times and ignorance in truly knowing what women want.
I guess I could list a ton of reasons of why I’m still single. Hey, I grew up on a farm. I didn’t have a lot of friends to help me develop social skills early in life. I went to a private school. I spent most of my free time in church. I didn’t go out in college (I actually hated college). I probably don’t have a lot in common with most women I’m attracted to. I’m not rich. I don’t have any kids. I’ve made some good and bad decisions. I’m not perfect.
A wise person understands that their past doesn’t determine their future. I wake up every day with some type of hope for a better tomorrow, faith that God will bless me and give me favor in my pursuits. As I lie in my bed right now, thinking on how I can be a better man, the type of woman I should pursue, and looking back on my past mistakes… I realize that I can’t change my past. I’m still single, and that’s life. Nevertheless, I’m working on myself so when I get another opportunity to meet someone special… a woman who knows what love is, who thinks I’m special, and who really wants to build a family with me… I definitely won’t take her for granted.