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Dating in your Thirties

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As you get older, the harder it becomes to date. The more difficult it is to meet people you’re attracted to, find people you’re compatible with, people who share similar values, and people who simply want to be in a relationship and are willing to give their time and energy to build a relationship. I am beginning to see more and more single women who would prefer to hang out with their female friends, rather than go on a date. Why is that?

Being a single man in my thirties, I feel that there are a few issues that I have to deal with personally, so this blog will mainly focus on those.

First of all, dating is obviously easier earlier in life when you’re young and have a lot of energy. If you are around the general college age range, 18-25, it’s normal to think you’ll always have the opportunity to do everything. But you will not always have the time, resources, and plethora of single people at your random availability. Time never stops… and eventually we all mature, take on responsibilities and become busy pursuing our individual dreams.

In a dating relationship, regardless if you have amazing chemistry between each other, I think it’s wise to take your time, not rush into sex, or into commitment. Experience the romance of dating… get to know each other. Dating for some is like a preliminary race before the main event (marriage). But it shouldn’t be rushed or overly thought through. Just like the best food usually takes the most time to prepare, the best relationships also take time to create and require a lot of ingredients.

Being in my mid-thirties I have had to deal with issues and questions that are a little complicated, and require me to really evaluate my feelings so I can make wise decisions. Here are just a few… Do I want to date a woman with kids? Am I willing to date a woman who lives across the country? Am I willing to be with a woman who doesn’t share my same values, but we get along? Should I have sex with someone I’m interested in (even though I want to wait until marriage), because that’s how she interprets love? Should I pursue women who aren’t my type? Which events should I start going to, so I can meet single women? I’m attracted to my co-worker, I wonder how should I approach her? Do I want to date outside my race?

Now I believe there are two types of dating. Dating to pursue random intimacy and Dating with the intent to marry (also called courting). Everyone is looking for something different from a dating relationship. That’s why there’s someone for everyone. One study states that the median age of women who are getting married is 27, and for men it’s 29. Studies are even showing that people in my generation are marrying less and are waiting longer to get married.

For me, it would be more accurate to say that I date with the intention to find friendship with someone I’m attracted to.  And, then after I find friendship I date with the intent to marry. There are so many people who have no purpose, goals, aspirations in their relationships. Anyone who I date, I truly value them, and I treat them like an investment (you are investing time into them). You need to be wise about who you invest into and understand how they can invest in you.

Honestly, though I am currently open to dating… I don’t know how/when I’m going to find my someone special. People always tell me, “Jason, you’re a good guy, I promise you’ll meet someone special sooner than you think!” I would love to meet and start a relationship organically, but maybe I should try online dating like, Tinder or Eharmony. I’m tired of being single. I don’t care what anyone says, people are difficult and dating is hard.

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