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Relationships Over the Holidays

Multi-ethnic couple kissing at New Year's Eve party

It’s only a few more days until the start of 2016. And, that means young adults in every city are preparing to attend a New Year’s Eve party. It’s one of the few times every year where I would love to be in a relationship. I don’t have any plans right now, but I wish I could be with someone special counting down the minutes until we kiss at midnight, bringing our love into the new year.
The holidays are the time to spend with those you love. Right now I’m in my mid 30’s. And, I’m at a point in my life where many of my friends are either married, married with children, divorced with children, or in a serious relationship. As a single man, one thing I have noticed is there are a lot of attractive women who aren’t happy in their relationships … and many of them don’t know what to do about it.
It’s a fact, people change over time. And many times people in relationships don’t change/mature/grow at the same pace due to communication issues or maybe they choose to coexist without addressing certain things. In my life as a child, I remember my mother growing apart from my father as he ignored the fact that she changed as she grew more spiritually; that was a huge factor in causing them to divorce.
In today’s world, I have seen both men and women place a higher value and put more effort into their individual success or their desire to live a certain type of lifestyle, than their relationships. Nevertheless, I feel the need to address this and write 2 letters to two groups of people who are in need of wisdom in how they manage their relationships: (1) one to men who don’t value what they have or don’t appreciate the women in their life, and (2) to women who are looking to be with a successful man.
(1) Dear Men,
What is the most important thing to you in life? You answer that by deciding how/where you spend your time and place your attention. Do you believe in the Bible? As the spiritual leader of your house, do you feel that you love your wife/girlfriend the way Christ loved the church?
No one can tell another man how to live his life or lead his family, but a man who doesn’t build up, encourage, appreciate and consider the needs and feelings of his wife/girlfriend is unknowingly creating problems and an atmosphere where disagreements can easily occur. And these problems can lead to love being lost, commitments being broken and can ultimately lead to divorce.
Just as one cancerous cell that isn’t properly dealt with can spread death into your whole body, don’t ignore small problems in your relationships because if ignored they can develop into something larger and ultimately end your marriage or dating relationship. Search your heart and find value in your relationships. Your wife/girlfriend should be one of the most important people in your life, treat them like they are and they will treat you like a king.
(2) Dear Women,
What do you want out of life? Are you Mrs. Independent, or are you waiting for Mr. Right? Most women who want to be in a relationship want to be with a successful attractive man. But, who do successful attractive men want to be with? That’s the question.
Most women think that men only want to be with sexually attractive women, or women without career goals because they think men only want sex and a housemaid. Though that may in fact be the case for some men, that is so far from the truth for the average successful man. Here are the top five things successful men look for in women:
Healthy hair: a woman with healthy hair symbolizes femininity and that she values her body and appearance.
Self-confidence: women with a strong self-confidence better understands their strengths and weaknesses, abilities and limitations. And, successful men are attracted to women who are honest with themselves and with others.
Her Walk: the way a woman walks says so much about herself. A successful man wants to be with a woman who is graceful, exudes elegance, and class.
Her Posture: a person who slouches when they stand or sit, shows they have poor manners or weren’t raised by good parents.
Conversation skills: successful men want a woman who can engage in intelligent conversations with their family and friends.
I’m sure that there are no perfect men, just as there aren’t any perfect women. However, if you’re a woman looking for a man, be clear on what type of man you want… and it’s wise to also understand what type of man is looking for you.
If you are single or if you are looking for someone to kiss on New Year’s eve … I hope you find someone special and Good Luck!

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