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Thoughts on Relationships & Women

Recently I have become more inspired to be more proactive and make more of an effort to engage myself in interacting with women; and I’m making more of my time available to do so.  I have now found the balance internally that has allowed me to decide and dictate what type of relationship I want with women.  When in many previous relationships with women, I was the one who was given the parameters of my involvement in the relationship; be it friendship or nothing, or whatever.  I believe I may have found a confidence in myself that was once unnoticeable to my recognition.  Because even though I may display an appearance of confidence or disregard, at times I do feel unsure of myself, not having clarity in my true intentions, as I interact among women in everyday situations.

My friend posted a video of a 10 minute speech, I believe dictated from a radio broadcaster or woman activist of some sort.  Nonetheless, in her speech she discussed the topic of how most young African-American women have been mis-educated, as they are taught to see themselves as a “Strong Independent Black Woman”.   The speaker or spokeswoman of the video states her reasoning behind making her speech, as she was motivated by her feelings which were felt when she heard a child describe herself as a “strong independent black woman”; when it can clearly be assumed that a normal child (that isn’t an orphan), would have no knowledge of what it means to be strong and independent, since they have to depend on somebody for everything.  The speech was very intelligently articulated and delivered.  And, I just had to take notice of her discussion, as I am probably one of the most unexperienced and ignorant men I know, when it comes to understanding women of my ethnicity.

I understand that life, in itself, has played a large role in the personality and attitude of all men and women; as we all have various issues that need to be dealt with, which are unique to each individual.  Focusing still on relationships, I know it can be so hard to put the energy forth to initiate interaction with someone you find interesting and attractive.  Our Facebook lifestyle of labeling people and impersonal communication, has caused people to even dictate the relationship before a word is even spoken.  I feel that our society of young adults have so much to learn when it comes to living life, and obtaining the right relationships.  Relationships, in itself, is a direct indication of a person’s future.  Life is all about who you know.  So relationships matter!  It doesn’t matter if the relationship is professional, intimate, or a friendship.  And, all three types of relationships will require energy, time, and attention, just to exist.

I have been in deep thought about, well… basically everything that has to do with marriage and being in an intimate relationship.  I’m so tired of hearing people say things like, “Just wait… You’re going to find the person that’s just for you!” or, “God has a special woman for you, and she’s waiting for you.”….Aaaahhhh!  Though I feel those statements do have some truth in them, and probably were spoken to me in the best intentions.  I strongly believe that all relationships are what you make of them, and I have to go make it happen regardless of the cost.

As I’m becoming more confident in myself, I can see how some men have serious controlling issues when they’re with a beautiful woman.  Even the Bible says in Mark chapter 6, that Kind Herod offered his wife’s daughter a gift of up to half of his kingdom.  And, he did that just because a beautiful girl danced for him, one night!  So, even kings are smitten by beautiful women.  I have always been a little unsure of myself and my desires, feeling inwardly the most negative thoughts about taking a relationship to the next level, because I know my thoughts aren’t that pure  🙂  .  If I only had wisdom and more relationships earlier in life, I would have recognized that NO ONE’s thoughts are that pure  🙂  .  I feel the issues young adults need to pay the closest attention to are: understanding the differences between lust and love, learning how to receive and discern good advice, being honest, and responsibility/commitment. Then maybe… maybe they might have a good chance to sustain a successful intimate relationship 🙂 .

Some women may pose the question, “Well they are more women on earth than men, so how everyone have someone special, and maybe relationship isn’t for me?” Well… OK, you’re right; they are more women than men, however you shouldn’t allow that to determine your relationship status. I just try and control the things I can control.  Everyone has to be accountable for who they are, and do the best with what we have, irregardless of genetic background, family history, race, skin color, economic status, or accent.  All together, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Every person should think of themselves as beautiful, and worthy to be loved by someone else.

Everyone has their own type of people they are attracted to.  I have my own type, and it’s not what every magazine would consider as beautiful.  I took the liberty to put a couple pictures of women [since I have no way to capture a person’s inner beauty with a camera, I chose some random pictures of women that I deemed as noteworthy.  I put them all in B & W].

 – This picture displays a love for friendship, as they express it as they are simply enjoying one another’s company – 

– This is an illustration of the essence of love; it displays a casual image of a woman, smiling with her child.  If you can’t smile at this picture, something’s wrong – 


– I look at this picture, and I see someone enjoying herself at dinner, on a date or maybe with friends.  It’s almost like she’s trying to hide something, but she doesn’t realize her heart is seen in her eyes.  It makes me want to smile when I see others smile –

– What else can I say… Tyra is just being herself –


– I just see a youthful natural beauty in this picture.  It looks as if she isn’t wearing any make-up.  I don’t like make-up really  🙁 –

– First of all, I love the hat!  I also love the natural, confident persona that is expressed in this picture.  This picture shows me that there are still women who feel comfortable with short hair, and content without having to wear earrings and accessories –

– I see an image of a carefree woman looking for something with anticipation –

– One of my best friends loves Corrine Bailey Rae  🙂  .  She has an illusion of purity and passion in her dress.  Yet, her facial features show strength, confidence, and direction.  It’s a good contrast –
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