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Where’s the LOVE?

Love.  There is something about life that creates a longing inside of everyone to see love through images which reflect love, to hear loving words, to love, and to be loved.  And, what a tragedy it is to know that there are so many people who have never known real love, and to see them live lonely lives of solidarity, or in and out of relationships as they don’t understand the value of commitment.  I just feel compelled to write out some thoughts I have about love that I hope can help someone else understand it better, or at least see love in a different view.

I first want to clearly define what love is to me, because this is the core foundation on which all my thoughts, feelings, and actions flow from.  I feel the best description of love can be found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I will not go into depth to try to define each aspect of what love is, but just to re-state them in clear view:  Patience, Kindness, Content, Graceful, Confidence, Humility, Calmness, Forgiving, Positivity, Genuine, Transparent, Merciful, Trustworthy, Hopeful and willing to Suffer and Sacrifice.  These character traits are the pillars of what love is all about.  Yet, even though it is easy to associate these traits with love, it can still be hard to distinguish love through complex expressions of feelings.  And, that is what I what to focus on, and provide as much clarity as possible.  Because, just a person’s actions, or a person’s words, by themselves, does not give an absolute identification of real love.  As I heard it said, “Even a broken clock is right two times every day.”, and that’s one of the first understandings I want to focus on.  That a person who doesn’t care about you at all, may give you flowers and candy for valentine’s day, but just them giving you a gift doesn’t mean they love you.

A person’s actions doesn’t fully signify their love for you.  In essence, having an argument or having different opinions, should not relay a feeling of being out of love —- Love can be displayed through a single act, yet not shown through in their intentions and actions towards you.  Or vice versa, where someone who loves you may at a specific time, tell you something offensive; and, just because they hurt you with their words or actions at the time, it doesn’t mean that they don’t love you.  How many times has a friend /family member, betrayed you by letting others know your secretive issues that you told them in confidence.  That has happened to everyone.  There’s a Bible verse that even says, “Don’t give your pearls to the swine”.  Not that you should keep everything to yourself, but understanding that , wisdom is key in discerning intentions and motives behind actions.

Love is not a feeling.  People always say, “Today, I just feel down.”, or “I’ve got the joy of the Lord right now!”, or whatever.  Those feelings are momentary, love is continual.  When I say, “I feel loved.”, that feeling has no relation to if I have joy, or if I feel good or bad; I feel loved, because I know I am loved.

Love is not about liking someone.  You can love someone who you don’t like. —-   This is an essential truth that has to be understood, for a person to mentally grasp how someone can love people they’ve never met.  I know that a lot of people I meet, are not people who I would want to spend a lot of time around.  So, I just look at them as who they are.  And, in love, treat them the way I would want to be treated.

I feel that in most cases involving friendships and cordially associating with people, they don’t want to know how you really feel, they just want to feel good around you.  So, do they really love you?  That’s a question that cannot easily be answered.  But, in most cases, it’s not the issue of love that comes to play, it’s an issue of what I call the Inability to Care.  And, that is basically when people feel they are too busy in life, pursing their desires, to where they have lost the ability to show any concern for anyone who isn’t directly attached to them.

Love is a choice. —-  I know some people don’t agree with this.  Nonetheless, I still feel that love is a choice.  I feel that you can choose to love someone.  I have chosen to love those who have hurt me, whether they intentionally or accidentally hurt me.  It doesn’t matter.  I made a choice to love them regardless of their actions towards me.  That’s where Forgiveness and Mercy comes in to play.  My faith is the key factor in giving me the ability to show love to people who don’t show love to me.  I just know deep in my heart, or I have faith, that Jesus loves me, even though I’m a liar, a sinner, a thief, and everything else.  So, it’s my duty to love others, because Jesus first loved me.  When a person recognizes that no one’s perfect, even though some may think otherwise  🙂  , it is easier to accept love from others, and give love as well.

You can even choose to withhold your love from someone, so that you’re not showing them all of your love.  For example, when you choose not to talk to someone, when you could easily talk or listen to them.  Or, when you just do only what’s absolutely necessary to maintain the relationship, when you know you could easily do more.  I know everyone can’t do everything, and no one is perfect, but you shouldn’t withhold your love from those that you can easily give all your love to.

Love is Cool  🙂 —  Choose to Love.  Break down your boundaries.  Let love in.  Look to love those who are around you.  Don’t think love is nonexistent, God loves you… and He even sent His Son to die for you.

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